/* ** ************************************************************************* ** ************************************************************************* ** ** NN NN SSSSSS XX XX ** NNN NN SS SS XX XX ** NN N NN SSS XX ** NN N NN SSS XX ** NN NNN SS SS XX XX ** NN NN SSSSSS XX XX ** The Non-Sequitur Express ** « an eclectic e-newsletter, e-published irregularly » ** Produced by Phillip Thorne ** nsx.underbase.org ** ** Volume 8, Issue 5: Thursday, 14 April 2006 ** Previous issue: Thursday, 23 March 2006 ** ** ************************************************************************* ** ************************************************************************* */ EDITOR: Primer for new readers. OBS & COGS: Potato droid, LEGO/Eggo, spamtastic word salad. ERRATA: The secret origin of David Boreanaz. FOLLOWUP: Another e-paper e-reader. READER FEEDBACK: Chlorine, more word salad, bad BBC grammar. SPECIAL EVENTS: Philly Pillow Fight, Video Games Live in Philly. SHOPPING: Sam Goody final days, "Schlock Mercenary" pre-orders. http://www.underbase.org/nsx/ - back issues http://www.underbase.org/blog - NSX::Blogmode http://www.underbase.org/nsx/index_plus.htm - extra content /* *************************************************************************** ** FROM THE EDITOR ** ** Primer for new NSX readers. ** ************************************************************************ */ Hi there, new subscribers! There are a few things you should know to maximize your reading experience: The official title of this publication is _The Non-Sequitur Express_, which I abbreviate "NSX." I've been writing NSX since October 1999. This is the eighth year, hence Volume 8. Individual issues are published at irregular intervals (see the masthead): anywhere from one week to nine months. NSX can be described as "an eclectic e-newsletter, e-published irregularly," and its motto is "usually accurate, occasionally timely, sometimes relevant." Readers are strongly encouraged to perform additional research before making viewing or purchasing decisions based on information presented herein, and I provide URLs for that purpose. News and media listings are written from the point of view of North America, the United States; in particular, the greater Philadelphia area. If you're reading this internationally -- and at least one of you is -- your mileage (kilometerage?) may differ. A lot. *** NSX is formatted to be read with a fixed-width font, i.e. one in which all the letters are the same width, like a typewriter or old- style ANSI computer terminal. If you use a proportional font instead, the columns in the data tables won't align, and the right paragraph margin will seem especially ragged. The most common fixed-width and proportional fonts are, respectively, Courier New and Times New Roman; you should be able to set the viewing font under the "options" menu in your email client. NSX uses formatting conventions established over the years of plain- text internet communication. Several functions that would in "rich text" all use italics, I instead indicate with specialized delimiting characters: emphasis with *asterisks*, titles and ship names with _underscores_, and foreign terms with /forward slashes/. Punctuation is found inside double quotes, per standard usage, but I enclose literal terms in double angle quotes. That is: It's a so-called "way of life," he says. He typed «squeegee», then hit the Enter key. For dates and times, I format in a way inspired by computer log files, in which the parts are concatenated in a particular order: weekday, day, month, year, instead of the usual American month-day- year. I connect the parts with hyphens to emphasize the unity of the value, and I don't capitalize the abbreviated names of weekdays or months. Times use a 24-hour clock instead of am/pm. (This happens to be similar to some European and military usage, but that's coincidental.) mon-03-apr-2006-20:30 tue-11-apr Monday, 3 April 2006 For times in TV listings, I use a 24-plus-hour clock, in which e.g. tue-25:30 is equivalent to wed-01:30. That is, "late late night" programming on Day X is really "early morning" programming on Day X+1. This reflects the way some printed program guides are organized, and the common practice on cable TV of airing a single program several times in one night. I sometimes report locations as "Country/State/City" instead of "City, State." This is inspired by the hierarchy implicit in computer pathnames ("C:/My Documents/Cows/Angus.txt") and saves on commas. /* *************************************************************************** ** OBSERVATIONS & COGITATIONS ** ** Hasbro creates "Artoo-Potatoo." ** LEGO meets Eggo. ** Happy fun porcelain of horrible death. ** The many ways a TV psychic can die. ** Word salad: spam and party games. ** ************************************************************************ */ The venerable "Mr. Potato Head" toy is a product of Hasbro, which also holds a license for "Star Wars" toys. Juxtaposing the two first resulted in "Darth Tater." Now they've created "Artoo- Potatoo," to be released in July. Here's the official write-up: "ARTOO-POTATOO is the heroic companion of Luke Frywalker. This feisty droid often finds himself in hot water, but always manages to save everyone's skin. Now, ARTOO-POTATOO must help PRINCESS TATER with an urgent mission: deliver the Death Spud plans to her friends in the Rebellion!" http://www.hasbrotoyshop.com/ (Rebellion against what? The Atkins Diet? And with a name like "Death Spud," I'm getting flashbacks to "Muppet Babies" and a certain tomato-shaped space battle station.) *** After years of jokes derived from conflated spellings of "L'Eggo my Eggo(R) Waffle" and "LEGO(R) Bricks," the two have finally combined. Kellogg's(R) has introduced Eggo waffles that break into six (allegedly) stackable 2x4-stud bricks. The package includes the LEGO logo and a gesturing minifig, and the motto "toast, break & build!" http://www.kelloggs.com/brand/eggo/home/ http://www.strangenewproducts.com/2006/02/lego-shaped-eggos.html Meanwhile and coincidentally, AFOL [1] Jonathan Eric Hunter has created the following replica of a Belgian waffle slathered with syrup and butter: http://news.lugnet.com/build/sculpture/?n=1018 http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/15911 [1] AFOL -- Adult Fan Of LEGO. Describes a market segment the LEGO Company hadn't anticipated. *** Amongst the ads in the coupon circular in my Sunday newspaper, there's usually one for some manner of porcelain collectible -- dragons, fairies, saccharine-sweet children, the Simpsons; or "Death Rider." That's this week's entry, a skeleton in biker garb (jeans, black vest, studded wristbands) riding a bone-encrusted chopper across a landscape spewing forth disarticulated bones -- so, lessee, Which One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others? Did somebody goof and insert an ad meant for Halloween season? *** A recent ad for the SFC series "Ghost Hunters" uses the tag line: "There is more than one way to reach the afterlife." Well, yes; I won't argue with that assertion -- you can be hit by a car, or by a train, or by lightning; you can eat poison, drink poison, inhale poison; your heart can fail, or you lungs, or kidneys... Somehow I don't think that's what they meant, but what they meant is STUPID. Meanwhile, on "Schlock Mercenary," another take on the TV psychic medium: http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20060409.html *** To use the Netflix DVD rental service, you establish a "queue" of disks you wish to see: the first N items are mailed to you, you return an item, and item N+1 is sent in turn -- and pricing is based on how many disks you hold at once, not how long you hold them. To minimize turnaround, Netflix operates numerous fulfillment centers across the US. Your queue is summarized on a single page through which you can re-order the items, check details, etc. One column indicates the "availability" of each disk -- "now," "short wait," "long wait," or "very long wait." Presumably "now" means "The disk is in our warehouse and can be sent immediately," but how are the other levels established, and what do they mean in quantifiable units? Perhaps: "This disk is currently held by a member who keeps his selections for an average of three weeks," or "This disk has been reported lost in the mail, and won't be replaced until the next semiannual purchase cycle." http://www.netflix.com/ *** I've been receiving a series of investment spam emails that sandwich the pitch between two heapings of word salad. For instance: subject: harmlessly air force text: undue forsworn a there cuff bestow a licorice delineate adversely [...actual content...] screwdriver, hillside... spurious, nausea of radiology the was loony egg, the plainly: to matter to and formulation but gist cream to trained was unsportsmanlike heretic the impolitely epitome and sew, adulation aggressively to [...and so forth.] This spammer might be using the so-called "Dissociated Press" module of the Emacs text editor, but whatever its origin, I'm inspired to rearrange it into a comprehensible passage. (This is probably the same compulsion that drives me to re-order my LEGO bricks.) Such as: The Air Force had forsworn their harmless screwdrivers before bestowing a licorice hillside on the radiologist. Adversely affected by spurious nausea, the formulation of the loony egg plainly mattered to the unsportsmanlike heretic, the epitome of aggressive adulation. As it happens, there's a newly-invented prepackaged word game that uses this very premise. Called "You've Been Sentenced!" (produced by McNeill Designs of Wilmington, Delaware), each player is dealt ten pentagonal cards, each with five words (related or grammatical variants); builds a sentence; and then awaits the democratic verdict of the other players as to its syntactic acceptability. http://www.ybsgame.com/ [--"YBS" described by John Desmond to the psfs-talk list of the Philadelphia Science Fiction Society.] /* *************************************************************************** ** ERRATA ** ** David Boreanaz, actor; Dave Roberts, weatherman. ** ************************************************************************ */ In NSX-8.4, I stated that David Boreanaz ("Buffy the Vampire Slayer," "Angel," "Bones") was a Philadelphia native, and the son of a TV meteorologist. In fact, he's a NY/Buffalo native who grew up in PA/Philadelphia, and his father is Dave Roberts (pseudonym) -- a weatherman, but not a meteorologist, for WPVI-6-ABC. [--Originally spotted in _Philadelphia Magazine_.] http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004770/ http://www.broadcastpioneers.com/robertsbio.html Seth Green ("Buffy the Vampire Slayer," "Austin Powers") is, however, a native of Overbrook Park, west of Philadelphia on the Main Line. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001293/ /* *************************************************************************** ** FOLLOW-UP ** ** A second e-paper e-reader: the "iRex iLiad." ** ************************************************************************ */ In NSX-8.2, I reported on the Sony "Portable Reader System PRS-500" and its electronic paper display. Turns out there's a competitor in April: the "ER 0100 iLiad" from Dutch company "iRex Technologies," with an 8.1-inch display, 16 levels of grey, and touchscreen/stylus input. [--Via the _Sci Fi Tech_ e-newsletter, 23-mar-2006.] http://www.irextechnologies.com/shop/products/iliad.htm http://blog.scifi.com/tech/archives/ereaders_set_to_duke_it_out_this_spring.html The PRS-500 has changed its release date to "Spring 2006," and will be available through: http://www.sonystyle.com/ /* *************************************************************************** ** READER FEEDBACK ** ** Asimov explains chlorine -- maybe. ** Singapore uses random sentence generators. ** Poor grammar means never having to say what you mean. ** ************************************************************************ */ In Issue #8.3 I pondered the tenacity of chlorinated swimming pool odor. Reader JN in Singapore had this thought: "I have a faint recollection of Isaac Asimov discussing this, possibly in the materials describing his early (awful) short story ``The Magnificent Possession'', in which a chemical process is found to give really cheap gold plating to things. Where to find that I'm not sure offhand, since while that isn't the least-reprinted Asimov story it's way down the list." Additionally, the magnetic word art sampler (e.g. WE WANT BETTER FAMILY OR GRATEFUL FRIENDS) in the same issue provoked this revelation of unknown, but no doubt linguistically pivotal, significance: "That's eerily like any number of signs or bulletins I've seen in Singapore." After I mocked the BBC's poor grammar in NSX-8.4, reader LL of PA provided his own take: "'Hear why students in Europe are falling behind, unless you're in a classroom in Finland.' Gee, I thought the BBC was trying to exlude Finns from 'hearing' the report while in school. Perhaps they also meant 'except' rather than 'unless'." /* *************************************************************************** ** SPECIAL EVENTS ** ** Philadelphia Pillow Fight -- this weekend. ** Video Games Live concert this June in Philadelphia. ** ************************************************************************ */ The first-ever Philadelphia Pillow Fight will be held on sat-15-apr- 14:00 at Love Park in Philadelphia. An activity organized by "viral" means, and an example of the "flash mobs" [2] enabled by modern portable telecom, the event has previously been held in San Francisco on Valentine's Day, 2006. The rules are: Tell everyone you know, bring a pillow hidden in a bag, wait for the signal, and don't hit anyone without a pillow. The promotion advises you to "re-post everywhere until your heart explodes" -- but that, as we know from "Invader ZIM" ("My heart explodes with joy!" BANG. Thud.) is a Bad Thing. http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/02/15/BAGCJH8EI11.DTL [2] The term "flash mob" was coined by SF author Larry Niven in his short stories featuring ubiquitous "transfer booths," teleport devices that completely destroyed conventional notions of urban proximity, and permitted vast crowds to assemble rapidly at events of interest. *** "Video Games Live" is a symphony concert extravaganza based on the premise that video game soundtracks are just as entertaining as anything else composed this century. After its first, highly successful, performance at the Hollywood Bowl in California, the organizers have attempted to arrange a national tour, but have had to repeatedly reschedule cities for a lack of suitable venues. For Philadelphia, the latest plan is to appear in conjunction with the Wizard World comics-etc. expo, held at the Pennsylvania Convention Center in June -- the concert itself will be at the Merriam Theatre on sat-3-jun. Tickets are on sale now. http://www.videogameslive.com/ http://www.wizarduniverse.com/conventions/philadelphia.cfm /* *************************************************************************** ** SHOPPING ADVISORY ** ** Sam Goody clearance sales continue. ** "Schlock Mercenary" now in hardcopy. ** ************************************************************************ */ The sales at Sam Goody have advanced: last week they were 60% off any single disc, (CD or DVD), and now it's 70%. This is the last week -- the store at my local mall closes on wed-19-apr. If the discount reaches 80%, I may pick up some extra copies of anime soundtracks to sell on Half.com. The first hardcopy ("dead tree") version of the "Schlock Mercenary" web-comic, _Under New Management_, is now in pre-order, and sales have been brisk. There are a lot of "Schlockers" out there willing to drop $15 for an 80-page color book. Buy two and give one to a friend who misses the original "Buck Rogers" comic strip! http://www.schlockmercenary.com/preorder/ /* ************************************************************************ ** Legalese ** Acknowledgments ** Opt-in/out Instructions ** *********************************************************************** */ The original content {layout, text} of this newsletter is copyright 2006 Phillip Thorne. Reproduction in whole or in part is permitted only as per applicable copyright law, if all copyright notices remain intact, and if citation trails (URLs or otherwise) are provided. That said, if you think colleagues would find an issue useful, please reproduce it -- but also suggest they subscribe. Those creative works {books, films, TV, websites, software, toys, etc.} referred-to {reviewed, synopsized, quoted, condensed, analyzed, etc.} herein are the property of their respective owners, are referred-to according to copyright law as interpreted in the U.S., and are cited whenever possible. No {endorsement, infringement, insult} is {expressed, implied, intended}, except where specifically stated. Other data sources: The Internet Science Fiction Database www.isfdb.org Sci Fi Wire www.scifi.com/sfw/ Usenet news:rec.arts.anime.misc news:rec.arts.sf.tv Wikipedia en.wikipedia.com Yahoo! Movies movies.yahoo.com If you're receiving this newsletter, you've probably intentionally subscribed to it, or possibly you're interested in special topical coverage, or maybe I've sent you a teaser issue. To subscribe and unsubscribe, use the addresses below: Publisher: nsx@underbase.org (human) Newsletter: nsx-l@underbase.org (automated system) nsx-l-subscribe (to subscribe; blank subject) nsx-l-unsubscribe (to unsubscribe) /* *************************************************************************** ** *************************************************************************** ** The Non-Sequitur Express ** http://nsx.underbase.org/ ** Volume 8, Issue 5: Thursday, 14 April 2006 ** Copyright 1999-2006 Phillip Thorne, nsx@underbase.org ** *************************************************************************** ** ************************************************************************ */