/* ** ************************************************************************* ** ************************************************************************* ** ** NN NN SSSSSS XX XX ** NNN NN SS SS XX XX ** NN N NN SSS XX ** NN N NN SSS XX ** NN NNN SS SS XX XX ** NN NN SSSSSS XX XX ** The Non-Sequitur Express ** « an eclectic e-newsletter, e-published irregularly » ** Produced by Phillip Thorne ** nsx.underbase.org ** ** Volume 5, Issue 2: Wednesday, 4 June 2003 ** Previous issue: Tuesday, 13 May 2003 ** ** ************************************************************************* ** ************************************************************************* */ OBS & COGS: Secret wishes, LEGO allusion, futurist survey, lizards CON REVIEW: Intro to Balticon 37 CON REVIEW: Technobabble, drawing, science fair, LEGO contest CONTESTS: "Mad Mad House", "Stargate", HP5 London trip ON THE WEB: PuTTY, Thinking Putty, PC reviews, magnets, Colorgenics UPCOMING: "Stargate" season 7, "Harry Potter" #5 plus Legalese, acknowledgements and opt-in/out instructions. http://nsx.underbase.org/ - back issues http://nsx.underbase.org/index_plus.htm - synopses, reviews, analyses, etc. mailto://nsx-discuss-l@underbase.org - post on this issue (if subscribed) http://www.underbase.org/ - additional databases /* *************************************************************************** ** OBSERVATIONS & COGITATIONS ** ** Make a non-orthogonal wish ** LEGO brick allusion of the day ** Change the future -- take a survey on Technological Transcendence ** Overlapped lizards lounging ** ************************************************************************ */ Abstracted for your amusement: a fullpage ad seen amid the grocery circulars in sun-1-jun-2003 edition of the _Daily Local News_, and excuse me while I stuff my lungs back into my chest... Marie Duval, the famous clairvoyant, is making you this unusual offer: Choose from the 33 wishes below those you'd most like to see come true in your life NOW! ... ready to help you realize your Secret Wishes ... FREE OF CHARGE ... offer limited to only 7 Secret Wishes per person ... she is going to perform, on your behalf, a ritual known only to her which should allow your Secret Wishes to come true ... follow the very simple instructions that she is going to send you in a large, discreet envelope ... You can expect some real "MIRACLES!" The list enumerates matters of work, global travel, and interpersonal relationships; but mostly it lists ways winning money. It does not, however, list "travel to Mars", "gain X-ray vision", "meet aliens", "speak to the dead", or "become king of the world". Also, the ad gives no URL. Am I really going to trust a psychic without a website? Ha! *** Allusion of the Day: as seen in the "Jim Berry's World" newspaper editorial cartoon, in the first week of 2003... Two besuited executives are seated at a restaurant, and one says: "I sold off all my stocks and I've gotten into vintage Legos." [1] [1] This cartoon, and the Balticon event, commit the common sin of using a brand-name as a noun; brandholders prefer their trademarks be used as *adjectives*, and the LEGO Group states as much (in fine print) in its catalogs. Well, arguably it's an adjective in "LEGO Building Contest" ("A building contest? What kind? The LEGO brick kind."), but not clearly. *** The freebies table at a convention is usually covered with ads and promotions, but I found the following at: a three-page "Questionnaire about Technological Transcendence", composed by a William Sims Bainbridge, Ph.D., of US/VA/Arlington. The survey introduces itself as the latest in a series, some distributed at SF cons, with results published in _Analog_, _Journal of Nanoparticle Research_, and the 1986 book _Dimensions of Science Fiction_. It contains seven vignettes (brief stories) about people confronted with issues of cryonic suspension, mind- uploading, cloning and nanotechnology; plus 28 other agree- disagree questions on topics of technology. I happen to enjoy completing surveys (I'm a member of a half- dozen online polling services), so I grabbed a copy. If it sounds interesting, and you'd like your opinion to be counted, the survey is available online: mysite.verizon.net/william.bainbridge/ Today's Related Inadequacy: Many online surveys contain this question: "Which of the following best describes your current employment status? Full- time, part-time, self-employed, student, homemaker, retired, military, other". Given the current US economy, there should be a ninth: "full-time stopgap". This describes a job that has little relation to one's education or career goals, and that'll be dropped at the first opportunity. Similarly, many surveys don't account for the phenomenon of temps and contractors. Who exactly is the employer? --the company that provides the workspace, or the one that signs the paycheck? The surveys ask, "What benefits does your organization provide?" or "How many PCs does it use worldwide?", and the poor temp-worker/survey-taker hasn't the foggiest notion. *** I was in my local pet store the other day, looking to be amused by piles of fuzzy rodents, and instead found a tank housing a dozen /anoles/ -- a small lizard which apparently has both green and brown varieties. Three of them were clinging to the tip of the tree-limb scenery, scrunched as close to the tank's sunlamp as possible, and partially overlapped in attempts to monopolize its warmth; when a fourth ambled along and climbed right over them. Lizards with no sense of personal space -- now that's comedy. /* *************************************************************************** ** CONVENTION REVIEW: INTRODUCTION ** Balticon 37 ** US/MD/Baltimore ** f-23-may- to m-26-may-2003 ** ************************************************************************ */ Balticon is a regional generalist SF convention -- it's organized by the local fan group (BSFS, the Baltimore Science Fiction Society), and caters to the entire spectrum of fannish interests -- books, media (domestic TV and film, animé), art, costuming). It includes not only the traditional Saturday-night Masquerade (costume show), but also live performances of plays and radio shows; not only panels, but science presentations; and BSFS conducts student contests for poetry, short stories, and science. (In contrast, other cons may be topic-specific (Trek, Transformers, books only), itinerant (BotCon, Worldcon), limited in scope ("relaxcons"), or professionally-run (Creation Conventions).) I've attended eleven cons in the past four years (including two prior editions of Balticon), but this was my first as a program participant, not merely a visitor or volunteer. I appeared on three media panels ("Enterprise", "Farscape", and "Stargate"), a fourth panel devoted to technobabble, and as a solo presenter (in the Science track) on "Exoskeletons and Combat Armor". I also appointed myself Ad Hoc Illustrator for the "Crazy Science Ideas" presentation when that speaker failed to show. Let's start at the beginning... After entering the hotel/convention center (the Wyndham Baltimore, formerly the Omni), you proceed to the Registration area, crammed into a main traffic nexus. There are three sign- in lines: for (1) at-the-door registration, (2) pre-registrants, and a subset of (2), (3) program participants (PPs). You sign for your pin-backed plastic-cased badge, then receive a BSFS bag containing the default swag: * Souvenir program book, color cover, 64 pages * Pocket schedule, 12 pages * Hall costume ballot * For PPs, pink name placard/table tent; schedule printed on the back * Various Baltimore coupons * Various promos and freebies: * Doorhanger for "Terminator 3" * Rectangular pin for "The Animatrix" * Pseudo-newspaper _The Underworld Chronicle_, promoting "Underworld" * Fanzine _The Tarpeian Rock_ #1 * Fanzine _Nth Degree_ #6 If you're smart, you printed the preliminary schedule from the website, used scissor and tape to rearrange the schedule-grids into a sensible order, and circled the interesting events; thereafter, you watch for the daily issue of _Balticon 37 Rocket Mail_, a single-page flyer containing programming changes and in-con promos. Next, you check the freebie tables. These are littered with flyers, posters, booklets and postcards; advertising cons, games, books, summer movies, and Baltimore. I myself skipped the movie posters, grabbed a card advertising Gen Con Indy and two for PP Patricia Bray's books (_Devlin's Luck_ and _Devlin's Honor_), a Startrek.Net CD (for my ISP collection), and three hefty publications by Steve Jackson Games (_Core Products_ mar- 2002, _Where We're Going_ winter-2002, and _GURPS Lite_ may-2000 [2]). (A further promo may be found in the Con Suite: small boxes of mints promoting "Underworld".) The hall costume ballot is a postcard-sized slip of paper bearing these simple instructions: give it to the wearer of your favorite costume; he with the most ballots at con's end wins. The drawback of this is a matter of local maxima: by the time you've seen all the costumes, you'll inevitably be unable to relocate your favorite. In contrast, Philcon's contest required entrants to register and wear a badge with number; voters kept note of these, and dropped their marked ballots in a box. [2] Most RPGs start with a core book, containing the game rules and major premises, then add "source books" with additional material. GURPS does the same, but since the line includes over a hundred source books describing every imaginable topic, it also provides (as a courtesy) the essential rules in _GURPS Lite_ -- a free 32-page booklet, or available online. This entices players into the Generic Universal RolePlaying System without excessive financial commitment. /* *************************************************************************** ** CONVENTION REVIEW: PROGRAMMING ** Balticon 37 ** ** "How to Write Technobabble" ** "Fantasy Drawing Techniques" ** "The 48th Baltimore Science Fair NSS Winners" ** "LEGO Building Contest" ** ************************************************************************ */ Every con has its slow hours, periods when none of the programming is personally interesting; that's when you visit the Art Show and the Dealer's Room, or grab lunch. Below are the events I attended this year; I describe four of them in detail in this issue. Expect more later! Fri 19:00 Make Your Hard SF Plausible: How to Write Technobabble 5: Charles Gilliland, C.David Rollins, Josepha Sherman, Bill Shunn(M), Phillip Thorne Fri 22:00 TV Show Recap: Enterprise 4: Brick Barrientos, Howard Newby(M), Michael D. Pederson, Phillip Thorne Sat 10:00 TV Show Recap: Farscape 3: Patricia Bray, Greg Cox, Phillip Thorne Sat 11:00 Tech University: Focusing and Gelling Lights Sat 13:00 Fantasy Drawing Techniques 1: Joel Keener Sat 16:00 TV Show Recap: Stargate 2: Keith DeCandido, Phillip Thorne Sat 20:00 Masquerade Sun 14:00 Exoskeletons and Combat Armor 1: Phillip Thorne Sun 15:00 The 48th Baltimore Science Fair NSS Winners 2/1: Andrew Cushing, Mitali Thakor Sun 16:00 Crazy Science Ideas 1/0: Prof.Robert Ehrlich, GMU Sun 20:00 "Space Adventure Cobra" animé MSTing Mon 10:00 "The Animatrix" Mon 12:00 LEGO Building Contest 1: Pat Bunn Mon 15:00 Throwing High Tech Rocks at the Enemy 1: Karl Ehrlich MAKE YOUR HARD SF PLAUSIBLE: HOW TO WRITE TECHNOBABBLE For my first panel, I forgot my name placard ("so that's what that was") and, despite expressing an appropriate degree of remorse and contrition, spent much of the discussion sidelined. Perhaps that's the inevitable fate of the junior panelist; or maybe there were just too many cooks. The panel was held in a boardroom-style room, with chairs around the table and others at the walls; with five panelists and a dozen audience, the conversation usually skated right past me. The discussion rapidly diverged from the title (as panels usually do) in the alternate directions of "what functions does technobabble play?", "when is it bad?", and "if the terminology is legal or medical, is it still *techno*babble?" I managed to cite the infamous "reverse the polarity of the neutron flow" [3], but was unable to address my "Rule One: DNA and protein -- know the difference!", but perhaps writing it on the whiteboard was sufficient. [3] This line from "Doctor Who" makes no sense if you equate polarity with electric charge; but if you *did* have neutrons flowing, then presumably you *could* reverse their direction. This is called a "fan save": when loyal viewers contrive a sensible explanation for a half-baked product of the scriptwriters. FANTASY DRAWING TECHNIQUES In this presentation, artist JOEL KEENER introduced his technique of "energy drawing", a meditative and inspirational technique that involves scribbling (with 2H pencil and eraser) until a form emerges, Rorschach Blot-style. You then refine the form with darker leads and deliberate erasing, separating it from the background -- but not too much, as prime advantages include the inherent surface texture in the foreground, and its naturalistic unity with the background. Mr.Keener tends to see dragons, which he then sculpts; in his demo scribble, I saw a narrow-faced man with a horse's head emerging from his helmet. THE 48TH BALTIMORE SCIENCE FAIR NSS WINNERS The BSFS runs several contests for high school students. In this hour, winner MITALI THAKOR, a sophomore at River Hill High School, presented a report and took questions on her project. (Second winner Andrew Cushing did not appear.) She performed experiments demonstrating that metallic nanowires can be used to direct the organization of mouse heart cells into tissues. Spherical neonatal cells have an affinity for the metal fibers, and wrap around them, like a bun around a hot dog. The cells can then be manipulated with magnetic fields; she presented microvideo of motion in response to a handheld magnet. After several rounds of separation (to produce a solution in which most of the cells are tied to fibers), she imposed an external field that caused them to line up. Her work was performed at, and with the aide of, the physics lab at Johns Hopkins University (where her father is a researcher) LEGO BUILDING CONTEST [1] In this, the second year of this Balticon event, the influence of last year's winners was sharply felt -- because the segments of their entry had never been dismantled, and were eagerly integrated by this year's contestants. That team -- the only team -- won, thanks to the superiority of division of labor: the gleaner/harvester, the color coordinator, the Mathematician Who Builds Curves of Voxels. They constructed a replica of the dirigible race as depicted by the Artist GoH on the program book's cover. This time they built a submarine being attacked by a giant squid amidst a kelp forest, but graciously elected not to enter it in competition. Aside from the "Schram Team Plus One", this was mostly an event for the younger kids -- not including Patrick Bunn's toddler- son, who preferred stomping and tossing the bricks to actually assembling them. (This is why TLG manufactures Duplo and Primo.) Presented with a plethora of green bricks, I went for a square design -- a generic Mesoamerican pyramid, with yellow and red trim; plus the obligatory decapitated heads, a parrot, one Ancient Astronaut, and Pokémon Pikachu. (Which one of these things is not like the others?) Due to the dearth of tables, I was working on the carpeted floor, hunched over my construct (with the bricks dumped from the crates across tablecloths, for easy access and cleanup -- my idea). It was there that the reporter and photographer from the _Baltimore Sun_ found me -- and though it's been a while since my fame in middle school, I'm never averse to giving interviews. Apparently the LEGO contest was the most photogenic event of Monday [4], because the single image chosen to accompany the feature on Balticon features -- woo hoo! -- me. Oh, and a six- year old watching me. Six-year-olds are always a plus in newspaper photos. www.baltimoresun.com/news/local/bal-md.scifi27may27.story [4] In mainstream press coverage of fannish events, it's traditional to illustrate with photos of the costumers -- I know this, from the mounted clippings in the History exhibit that I helped set up at Worldcon 2001. A shot of fans sitting quietly in a panel room -- even if they are wearing dragons on their shoulders, baby Cthulhus on their chests, and blinking lights -- just isn't as dramatic. /* *************************************************************************** ** CONTESTS and SWEEPSTAKES ** ** SFC: submit to weirdos in "Mad Mad House" ** SFC: a walk-on role on "Stargate SG-1" ** B&N: "Harry Potter" trip to London ** ************************************************************************ */ Reality TV is popular with networks, because it's cheap; and popular with viewers, because real people can be more entertaining than fake ones (the same principle applies to pet antics) -- the trick lies (reviews of "Survivor" imply) in assembling the proper ensemble. SFC's obligatory entries include "Scare Tactics with Shannen Doherty" (apr-2003, unleash SF-themed hoaxes on your friends) and the new "Mad Mad House". Its premise: "Joe Average" contestants are tossed into a mansion ruled by five "Alts", dedicated alternative-lifestyle types -- defined as Voodoo Priest, Yogi Master, Modern Primitive (ie body-piercer), Vampire, Wiccan, and "Trekker" [5]. (So, they're recreating "Buffy"?) Contestants are currently being cast; apply online. Win a walk-on role on "Stargate SG-1"... Sci Fi Channel's "Get in the 'Gate" sweepstakes, starts f-6-jun-2003. Enter online. Win a trip to London and great daily prizes... to celebrate _Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_; sponsored by Barnes & Noble. No purchase necessary, or get a decoder card with your Children's Department purchase. Ends s-6-jul-2003. www.scifi.com/madmadhouse/ www.scifi.com/stargate/ www.harrypottersweeps.com [5] Per current fannish usage, a "Trekker" is an ordinary fan with a sense of proportion; the obsessed weirdo fanboys are instead termed "Trekkies". /* *************************************************************************** ** ON THE WEB ** ** The PuTTY SSH client: Telnet replacement ** "Thinking Putty" by Crazy Aaron ** PC hardware reviews from Down Under ** Magnets for sale: pin your friends to the fridge ** Your personality in a paintbox ** ************************************************************************ */ My hosting service no longer supports old-fashioned and insecure Telnet, and recommends an SSH client called PuTTY (for Win32, written by Simon Tatham et al). While exploring PuTTY's features, I wandered sideways (as one is wont to do on the web) to a merchant of silicone putty, a merchant of magnets, and an Australian reviewer of PC hardware. "Crazy Aaron Enterprises" of nearby US/PA/Havertown has been selling adult-sized portions (1/5 pound) of "Thinking Putty" (as in "Silly Putty") for the past four years, possibly to achieve world domination. It's available in multiple colors (including metallic, and marbled) and with extra properties (glow-in-the- dark, magnetic); Crazy Aaron also fills custom orders (corporate color-matching, packaging) and sells accessories (black-light bulbs, magnets). There's a large gallery of "things to do", which includes fooling fingerprint scanners... ...as reprinted from "Dan's Data -- PC hardware reviews and tutorials". This Australian site provides detailed, chatty reviews of PC internals and peripherals, including strange keyboards. Warning: popup ads. Crazy Aaron buys his magnets from "Gauss Boys", purveyors of rare-earth magnets (neodymium and samarium-cobalt). These are permanent magnets of the fearsomely powerful kind -- forget erasing computer disks and credit cards; a coin-sized slab can suspend a bicycle from a steel ceiling beam. (Thus demonstrating that the electromagnetic interaction is about 10^41 times stronger than gravity.) The magnets are available in many shapes, sizes, and variety packs. The site advises eye protection when using: these are ceramic, hence brittle; if dropped, they can shatter explosively. (Would a plastic coating be useful, then?) www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/~sgtatham/putty/ - PuTTY SSH client www.puttyworld.com - Crazy Aaron Enterprises; "Thinking Putty" www.dansdata.com - Dan's Data; PC hardware reviews www.gaussboys.com - Gauss Boys; magnets for sale www.dansdata.com/edkb.htm - Japan's "Scythe Ergo Diver"; wacky key layout for gamers www.dansdata.com/ibmkeyboard.htm - Classic IBM keyboards with positive key-click www.foldoc.doc.ic.ac.uk/foldoc/foldoc.cgi?space-cadet+keyboard - featuring seven shift keys www.underbase.org/db/kbd/keyboard-survey.htm - my own survey of ergonomic keyboards Got a favorite color -- or eight? The Colorgenics site claims that your personality is correlated to your chromatic preferences. A Java applet displays a palette of eight colors (red orange yellow green violet grey black) and allows you to select them in order of decreasing preference; the site then generates a psychological profile for you. I'm skeptical, and wonder if it merely returns a randomly-assembled profile; but I haven't conducted enough tests to be sure. www.colorgenics.com /* *************************************************************************** ** UPCOMING ** ** f-13-jun: SFC's "Stargate SG-1" season 7 ** z-21-jun: "Harry Potter" #5 goes on sale ** ************************************************************************ */ Series Episode Day-Date-Time Len Network ============= ================== =============== === ======= Stargate SG-1 621 f 6-jun-20:00 60 SFC Stargate SG-1 622 s6 fin f 6-jun-21:00 60 SFC Stargate The Lowdown f 13-jun-20:00 60 SFC Stargate SG-1 701 s7 prem f 13-jun-21:00 60 SFC Stargate SG-1 702 f 13-jun-22:00 60 SFC ============= ================== =============== === ======= The Sci Fi Channel (SFC) works to schedule its premieres exactly when the broadcast networks aren't, which might be good for counterprogramming ratings but is very confusing. Repeats of the season 6 finale air this coming Friday, f-6-jun; s7 airs the week after, preceded by "Stargate: The Lowdown" (see "Farscape Undressed") to brief new viewers. The Barnes & Noble bookstore at Main Street Exton (US/PA/Exton) will hold a "Harry Potter's Midnight Magic Party" on f-20-jun- (21:00,24:00) to celebrate the release of Book Five, _Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_. /* ************************************************************************ ** Legalese ** Acknowledgments ** Opt-in/out Instructions ** *********************************************************************** */ The original content (layout, text) of this newsletter is copyright 2002 Phillip Thorne. Reproduction in whole or in part is permitted only as per applicable copyright law, if all copyright notices remain intact, and if citation trails (URLs or otherwise) are provided. That said, if you think colleagues would find an issue useful, please reproduce it -- but also suggest they subscribe. Those creative works (books, films, TV, websites, software, toys, etc.) referred-to (reviewed, synopsized, quoted, condensed, analyzed, etc.) herein are the property of their respective owners, are referred-to according to copyright law as interpreted in the U.S., and are cited whenever possible. No (endorsement, infringement, insult) is (expressed, implied, intended), except where specifically stated. In this issue, certain data (possibly not separately acknowledged) have been obtained, aggregated and synthesized from: Balticon SF convention balticon.org Baltimore Science Fiction Society bsfs.org The Sci Fi Channel scifi.com If you're receiving this newsletter, you've probably intentionally subscribed to it, or possibly you're interested in special topical coverage, or maybe I've sent you a teaser issue. To subscribe and unsubscribe, use the addresses below: Publisher: nsx@underbase.org (human) Newsletter: nsx-l@underbase.org (automated system) nsx-l-subscribe (to subscribe; blank subject) nsx-l-unsubscribe (to unsubscribe) Discussion list: nsx-discuss-l@underbase.org nsx-discuss-l-subscribe (to subscribe; blank subject) nsx-discuss-l (to post) nsx-discuss-l-unsubscribe (to unsubscribe) /* *************************************************************************** ** *************************************************************************** ** The Non-Sequitur Express ** http://nsx.underbase.org/ ** Volume 5, Issue 2: Wednesday, 4 June 2003 ** Copyright 1999-2003 Phillip Thorne, nsx@underbase.org ** *************************************************************************** ** ************************************************************************ */