/* ** ************************************************************************* ** ************************************************************************* ** ** NN NN SSSSSS XX XX ** NNN NN SS SS XX XX ** NN N NN SSS XX ** NN N NN SSS XX ** NN NNN SS SS XX XX ** NN NN SSSSSS XX XX ** The Non-Sequitur Express ** « an eclectic e-newsletter, e-published irregularly » ** Produced by Phillip Thorne ** ** Volume 5, Issue 1: Tuesday, 13 May 2003 ** Previous issue: Tuesday, 31 December 2002 ** Next issue: After four months, do you really want to guess? ** ** ************************************************************************* ** ************************************************************************* */ INTRODUCTION: subscribers, philosophy, what Phil does ERRATA: standard disclaimer, umlauts ADDENDA: Expandagons as Mummer props OBS & COGS: Optimus Prime, water heater, water parks, industrial design BOOKS: _Biology of Science Fiction Cinema_ _Parasite Rex_ _The Barmaid's Brain_ UPCOMING TV: season finales UPCOMING CIN: season of comics and sequels plus Legalese, acknowledgements and opt-in/out instructions. http://nsx.underbase.org/ - back issues http://nsx.underbase.org/index_plus.htm - synopses, reviews, analyses, etc. mailto://nsx-discuss-l@underbase.org - discuss this issue (if subscribed) http://www.underbase.org/ - additional databases /* *************************************************************************** ** INTRODUCTION ** ************************************************************************ */ Greetings! --and welcome to a new year, new and returning readers. This document you're viewing onscreen (or reading in hardcopy, or feeding through a text-to-speech converter) is Volume 5, Issue 1 of the _Non-Sequitur Express_ (NSX), a personal e-newsletter produced by Phillip Thorne: resident of southeast Pennsylvania, writer, illustrator, computer programmer, reader and thinker (sometimes several at once, though that gets confusing). After four years and 70 issues, I can count approximately 60 readers: 10 coworkers, 13 classmates from my home school district, 2 college classmates, 11 family members, and 24 people who just wandered in from the Internet. (Numbers are approximate due to multiple addresses for some subscribers, plus subscriptions I'm just now testing.) As one of those sixty readers, you're receiving NSX for one of three reasons: (1) You specifically subscribed, by email or voice. (2) I received an email that resembled a subscription request, but couldn't confirm it. Perhaps that 30-kB THUD in your mailbox will persuade you to be less ambiguous. (3) You're a family member, and NSX serves as a replacement/apology for not sending a specific/timely Holiday letter. If you wish to change your subscription in any way (cancel, add/delete/change email address), please contact me (with a clearly- worded message) at nsx@underbase.org. If you have acquaintances who'd enjoy NSX, please point them in my direction. The operational philosophy of NSX can be summarized in five points: (1) No charge, no fees, no ads. (2) No guarantees. Without fiscal incentive, a mere moral dedication to quality is sometimes insufficient to ensure reasonable timeliness. (3) No commitment. You can leave at any time. (4) No boredom. I write about our mutual interests. If you find they're insufficiently mutual, see Point (3). (5) No hidden opinions. When reviewing a work of fiction, I'll explain *how* it meets or fails common standards of quality, and permit *you* to decide if they're personally relevant. *** Returning readers might be asking, "Why isn't NSX published more frequently?" [1] or "Why doesn't Phil report on events with greater alacrity?" or "Where are the pictures?". In short: each issue already takes an excessive time to write (and posting related photos online takes even longer). If I'm not revising paragraphs for punchiness, I'm confirming assertions and specifics, online and offline. So when I'm not writing, what am I otherwise doing? POPULATING AND ORGANIZING DATABASES... I keep detailed notes on toys, consumer electronics, TV episodes and other topics; and often the details fall naturally into tabular form. Theoretically, these tables could be a rich trove of analysis for NSX -- if they weren't scattered and disorganized. I use MSExcel spreadsheets for the notes, because they're so convenient for bulk entry, sorting, filtering and scrubbing. In contrast, MSAccess provides complex query functionality, but its grid-entry is far inferior to Excel's, and it imposes a higher CPU load. Eventually I'll contrive to query the former through the latter; eventually-even-later I'll even convert everything to MySQL for inclusion on underbase.org. For example, I recently combined a half-dozen spreadsheet-logs (Excel and Lotus 1-2-3) dating back to 1995, and discovered I've read some 2600 (non-unique) books since 1986. Aside from a few universal fields (title, author, date-read), those logs contained varying details on each book, in varying orders; so I couldn't just concatenate the files. I *could* have transmogrified each file to a single format using Perl scripts; but Excel's GUI provided instant feedback as I relocated entire columns, and wrote formulas to split or combine cells. (See BOOKS, below.) EXERCISE... Regular visits to my local hospital's Center for Health and Fitness are the one activity (I've begun since college) that I can rate as unambiguously beneficial. For instance, strengthening my arms seems to have reduced my vulnerability to "mouser's elbow". WORKING... I enjoyed nearly three years of lucrative employment after college graduation, employment in a job actually related to my college major [??]. After that, the Big Slump hit, and I've been since working at a sequence of clerical temp jobs, at one-quarter the pay rate. (It's at this point that residing with one's parents becomes a shrewd economic move, not a pathetic one.) There's actually an upside to this: I gain experience and insight into additional sectors of the economy, and I don't grow bored with any single job. (Stay tuned for specific coverage in later issues.) CLEANING OUT THE BOOKSHELVES... Last year, my subscription to _Consumer Reports_ inexplicably mutated into the personal finance magazine _Money_, which I promptly ignored; being wedded to the "fire and forget" philosophy of retirement investing. (Ie, make automatic monthly contributions to a mutual fund, then let dollar-cost averaging and long-term trends do the work.) I feel a commitment to the copies, however, so I now insist on skimming each before consigning them to the recycle-bin. In early-2003, it's now entertaining (in a morbid way) to read early-2002 predictions that the US economy would recover in only six months. [1] The fact that I published NSX on a regular schedule during its first two years is strongly related to my secure employment during that period: I misappropriated a not inconsiderable chunk of company time typing away, an admission I can now make since I'm no longer working there. I blame myself for a bad habit, and I blame the department's complete lack of deadlines or pressure. As it happens though, while I was playing at Writer, not a few of my coworkers were playing at Stock Speculator; and I like to think *my* activity has ultimately been more productive. /* *************************************************************************** ** ERRATA ** Standard disclaimer ** Umlauts and accents ** ************************************************************************ */ In Issue 4.10's coverage of Philcon, I forgot to include my usual disclaimer: that any mistakes or misrepresentations are probably the result of my own mishearing or misremembering of oral presentations. Also in 4.10, although I added the acute accents to "animé", I forgot to include the umlaut in "Noël Log". (My church hymn book now spells it "Nowell".) /* *************************************************************************** ** ADDENDA ** Hoberman Expandagon used as Mummers prop ** ************************************************************************ */ In Issue 4.8 I reviewed the "Hoberman Expandagon" construction toys, and in 4.9 reader Luke Lorenz reported a practical pedagogical use of a toy-class Hoberman Sphere. Now here's a theatrical one: several appeared as props in the winning performance of the Fralinger String Band during the 2003 Philadelphia Mummers Parade. (That skit also featured E.T. and a Klingon.) (For my international readers, the Mummers Parade is a century-old tradition in US/PA/Philadelphia. Conducted on 1 January, the day-long event features dozens of teams who perform dances and musical skits, clad in huge, garish costumes bedecked with sequins and ostrich plumes. Teams are typically neighborhood and hereditary arrangements.) http://www.mummers.com /* *************************************************************************** ** OBSERVATIONS & COGITATIONS ** Man changes name to "Optimus Prime" ** Maintain your home water heater ** Water parks: typhoid city? ** Industrial design: "XM SkyFi" vs. "Discover 2GO" ** ************************************************************************ */ As reported by Vic Gideon of WKYC-NBC-3 on 18-mar-2003, a 30-year-old member (firefighting specialist) of the 5694th National Guard Unit (Tactical Crash Rescue Unit) (US/OH/Mansfield) has legally changed his name to "Optimus Prime" (his former name is not given), because (he says) the toy filled a childhood emotional void after the death of his father. His unit "razzed" him for three months, but he's received a congratulatory letter from a general at the Pentagon; he's now deployed in Operation Enduring Freedom. (The story was also reported in _Newsweek_ magazine.) http://www.wkyc.com/news/news_fullstory.asp?id=3828 http://www.wkyc.com/weblog/optimus/ -- Mr.Prime's blog Now, some Transformers fans have painted their cars with Autobot insignia, and in the mid-1990s certain fans of "Babylon 5" had to be dissuaded from naming their kids after favorite characters -- but this is just Weird. --Although perhaps the name wouldn't sound so odd in ancient Rome. *** A few weeks ago, my house underwent an emergency water-heater replacement. Let this be a warning! --drain your heater every six months to remove accumulated sediment. We had neglected to do so for seven years (four with well-water, three with public), and the accumulated silt caused the device to fail -- it also prevented the tank from draining, so that we and the plumber lugged (with the specialized tank-cart) an extra 200 pounds up the stairs from the cellar. When he later knocked off the drain-valve, the tank drained for several minutes onto the lawn, carrying an astounding quantity of sediment. I collected a sample in a plastic coin-tube, and while it looked gross and organic (rust-orange with white salt-like inclusions), it presumably wasn't infectious -- after all, the tank's contents were potable. (The sample clung to the upper portion of the tube, and after a month, it still hasn't slumped.) Remember, you could be vulnerable to a similar problem -- even if you don't use a *private* well, your public supply might still derive from wells tapping the same mineral- laden aquifers, or be pumped from a river through rust-depositing cast iron pipes. *** Water-parks look like fun, but I worry about bacterial infection, as vectored by sub-toilet-trained children carried into the pool by ill- advised parents. Perhaps the parks have policies against this? --I've never checked. *** In the field of "industrial design", there are two aspects to "product packaging" (sometimes called "form factor"): aesthetics and function. For instance, a portable radio can be molded in psychedelic colors, or to resemble Mickey Mouse; or it can be equipped to be wearable on the head, arm, wrist, or hip. The "XM SkyFi" from XM Satellite Radio is an example of functional packaging. It's a small rectangular panel, containing the controls and guts of the receiver -- while the antenna and speakers are external. Like a robot brain donning specialized bodies, it can be docked to a car system, home kit, or portable "boombox". This neatly zaps the one objection of potential buyers, that of paying a monthly subscription fee for a device usable only in a car. In contrast, consider the "Discover 2GO(sm)" credit card. It's shaped like a skinny eggplant, and pivots into a protective plastic case equipped with a ring (for keys) and clip (for cash). "Its size makes it easy to take anywhere so it's perfect for your active lifestyle," claim the advertising materials. Exactly whose needs does this fulfill? People who don't carry wallets? Who need a credit card at the swimming pool? Who prefer to wear it as an earring? /* *************************************************************************** ** BOOKS ** _Biology of Science Fiction Cinema_, Mark C. Glassy, 2001 ** _Parasite Rex_, Carl Zimmer, 2000 ** _The Barmaid's Brain_, Jay Graham, 1998 ** ************************************************************************ */ So what *have* I been reading? A while ago my brain underwent one of its periodic flops, deciding too many neurons were being allocated to science fiction, and forced me into the library's nonfiction stacks. (Alas, that library branch is now indefinitely closed for repairs.) I'm now proceeding through the Time-Life 1997 series of world mythology and folklore (Japanese, Chinese, Mesopotamian, Norse), and books on Kabbalah (esoteric Hebrew mysticism) [2], in addition to... _The Biology of Science Fiction Cinema_ (2001) by immunologist (and lifetime fan) Mark C. Glassy analyzes 70-some films from 1933 to 1997 (including multiple versions of "The Blob", "The Fly", etc.) for biological plausibility and laboratory technique, grouping them by topic: pharmacology, endocrinology, surgery, etc. The book could use editing: Glassy often wanders, or repeats himself, or scrolls off biochemical lists without explaining quite how they're relevant. Me, I have the biological experience to follow his points (and the writer's ego to think I could do better); but less technical readers could quickly get lost. Sometimes he's very critical of some aspect of implausible biology, but elsetimes runs off on unwarranted conjecture. Science journalist Carl Zimmer's _Parasite Rex_ (2000) examines the underappreciated significance of parasites in ecosystems and evolution. By some estimates, 80% of Earth's species are parasites, specialized to prey on a single organism. (Conventional predators, herbivore or carnivore, can vary their diets.) First held in contempt, then ignored, parasites are now recognized to exist in every kingdom and at every level: animal, plant; genetic, biological, social. Some even remake their hosts by virus-like genetic control; if Glassy read this book, he'd be less critical of some SF monsters. _The Barmaid's Brain_ (1998) by Jay Graham (pop-sci media personality) relates 21 stories at the "edges of science": events that are irreproducible, events which must be analyzed from limited historical evidence, topics or hypotheses that are simply unfashionable and ignored. Did Joan of Arc suffer from a specific neurobiological disorder? What can Volvox (the adorable microscopic green soccer ball) tell us about the origins of multicellular life? Did humans ever evolve through an aquatic phase? The chapter "A Silver Lining" considers the possible advantages (in one case) of social parasitism. [2] Okay, you noticed -- I haven't escaped SF at all, I'm just tracking down the mystical allusions in the animé "Neon Genesis Evangelion". It may surprise some of my younger readers, but for certain topics, the Web is insufficient, and it is actually essential to consult offline hardcopy sources. If you Google-search for certain terms from "Evangelion", you'll find only "Eva" fan pages, all repeating the same information. Similarly (claims an NSX reader), if you're looking to code a red-black tree (a type of efficient software data structure), hundreds of pages copy the algorithm from a single textbook -- complete with typo. /* *************************************************************************** ** UPCOMING TELEVISION ** ************************************************************************ */ Series Episode Day-Date-Time Len Network ============= ================== =============== === ======= Angel 422 s4 fin w 7-may-21:00 60 WB Andromeda 322 s3 fin wo 12-may 60 synd Simpsons EABF16 s14 fin s 18-may-20:00 30x2 FOX Buffy:TVS 722 s7/ser fin t 20-may-20:00 60 UPN Enterprise 226 s2 fin w 21-may-20:00 60 UPN StarGate SG-1 701 s7 prem f 13-jun 60 SFC ============= ================== =============== === ======= "Angel"... This season (#4), when not enmeshed in a "turgid supernatural soap opera" (to use one of the characters' own phrases), Angel Investigations (AI) fought against a lava-beast that blotted out the sun above Los Angeles, then the beast's unborn master (a creature gestating in and controlling Cordelia), then all of LA (after the creature took control with sublime happiness). Once freed of "Jasmine's" influence, LA devolved (once again) into violence and chaos. ("Congratulations," says Jasmine bitterly, "you've ended world peace.") As a reward, the pandimensional demonic law firm of Wolfram & Hart (AI's regular nemesis) ceded control of its LA operations to AI. Although literally a deal with the devil, Angel accepted it, in order to create a better life for his conflicted son Connor -- an impossible boy-of-prophecy, born of two vampires, raised in a hell-dimension -- executing one of those magical-history-retcons to give him a normal family. [3] "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"... is approaching its seventh and last season finale. Buffy's magical resurrection at the start of s6 (how'd the "Scooby Gang" manage the paperwork on *that*?), awoke the First Evil, which commenced efforts to destroy the Line of Slayers by killing all the Potential Slayers and the Watcher's Council. Giles gathered the twenty-or-so remaining Potentials to Buffy's house (crowded!), while new allies were found in Spike-the-vampire (now with soul), the high school's new principal (only known son of a Slayer, killed by Spike in 1977), and Andrew (last surviving member of s6's trio of SF- geek arch-villains). For the first time in seven years, the population of Sunnydale finally recognizes the danger of the latest apocalypse, and flees en masse. [3] (Even amid imminent doom, "Buffy" manages to inject moments of levity that "Angel" lacks.) "The Simpsons"... finishes its 14th air-season this coming Sunday, with two new episodes. (As usual, the air- and production-seasons are out of phase.) "Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda"... which suffered a severe slump in story quality in the latter half of s2, has escaped the curse of "Earth: Final Conflict" to regain some dignity and direction. In one story arc, some of the history-choosing powers of the mysterious (and formerly purple) Trance Gemini are revealed. In a second, the oncoming worldship of ravenous-and-rabid Magog has not been forgotten, as the Restored Commonwealth slowly builds a force to meet it, and as Trance's people groom the Pyrians (a rival galactic civilization of Venus- dwellers) as an alternative. In the third, Tyr Anasazi, _Andromeda's_ never-quite-trustworthy Nietzschean crewmember, takes control of the Drago-Kazov Pride [4]. (Because scenes that advance the arcs are often subtle, infrequent viewers may be confused.) [3] "Angel" is a spin-off from "Buffy" and, although the two now reside on different TV networks, the makers have contrived several character/plot crossovers -- Willow came to L.A. to help with magic, then returned with rogue Slayer Faith; Buffy's first love Angel himself will arrive for the finale, carrying an important talisman. (How exactly Sunnydale escaped Jasmine's state-wide reign-of-delirious-joy has not been explained.) Interestingly, two of the actors from Fox's short-lived SF/Western "Firefly" have appeared in these two series, each as a villain -- on "Buffy", Nathan Fillion ("Captain Malcolm Reynolds") as "Caleb", cleric and prime agent of the First Evil; and on "Angel", Gina Torres ("Zoë Warren") as "Jasmine", the Power-That-Was. (She also played "Hel" on "Cleopatra 2525".) [4] The Nietzscheans, /Homo sapiens invictus/, are a human sub-species devoted to improving themselves by any means available. They have a much smaller degree of genetic variation that humanity as a whole, and so "genetic reincarnation" -- the spontaneous recombination of traits to recreate a prior individual -- is possible. As such, they've long awaited the return of their founder, Drago Museveni, to unite the warring Prides. Tyr's infant son Tamerlaine happens to be that return, and Tyr has his own genetic markers adjusted to match, thereby conning the Drago-Kazov -- the group responsible for destroying his own Kodiak Pride. /* *************************************************************************** ** UPCOMING CINEMA ** ************************************************************************ */ Title Opens Based-on Studio/type ================================= ====== ============ ================ Agent Cody Banks 14-mar The Core 28-mar Cowboy Bebop: The Movie 4-apr animé X2: X-Men United 2-may sequel comic The Matrix Reloaded 15-may sequel Finding Nemo 30-may Pixar CGI The Hulk 20-jun comic Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle 27-jun sequel tv Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas 2-jul DreamWorks cel Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines 4-jul sequel Pirates of the Caribbean 9-jul ride Disney League of Extraordinary Gentlemen 11-jul comic Johnny English 18-jul Tomb Raider 2: The Cradle of Life 25-jul sequel game Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over 25-jul sequel ================================= ====== ============ ================ That both 2000's "X-Men" and its current sequel "X2: X-Men United" are comic-book movies that are actually *good*, has almost destroyed my faith in Hollywood's total incompetence. It's followed this summer by "The Hulk" (which had toys out in *February*, *four months* early) and "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen". [5] "Finding Nemo" is the latest computer-animated comedy from Pixar Studios (makers of "Monsters Inc.", "A Bug's Life", "Toy Story", etc.), and is the story of a tropical fish searching for his son, harvested for a dentist's aquarium. "Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas" is the latest cel-animated feature from DreamWorks SGKG ("Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron", "The Road to El Dorado", "The Prince of Egypt"). A note on double standards: some critics lambasted Disney's SF "Treasure Planet" because "Treasure Island has been done so many times" -- but I don't see that criticism being applied to *this* film. "Johnny English" features Rowan Atkinson, the comedic British actor behind "Mister Bean" and "Blackadder", as an earnest-but-bumbling secret agent. 'Nuff said. I include Disney's "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl" (apparently based on the theme park attraction) only because it contains period replica hardware by "Ball and Ball", the local brass company for which my mother works. "Agent Cody Banks" (not at all like "Spy Kids") is up there because it features nanotech and the flying SoloTrek XFV by now-near-defunct MilleniumJet. http://www.ballandball-us.com http://www.solotrek.com [5] "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" (based on the comic book) features a special ops team assembled by Victorian-era England, including Dr.Jekyll, immortal-via-portrait Dorian Gray, US spy Tom Sawyer, vampiress Mina Harker, a thief who stole the Invisible Man's formula, and tech-head Captain Nemo. It thus combines literary characters created by Bram Stoker, Mark Twain, Jules Verne, H.G.Wells, and others -- and could thus be classified as "crossover fanfic", except that fanfic usually borrows (a) media characters (TV, film) who are (b) still under copyright. It belongs to the style/genre of "steampunk", wherein 19-cen tech and aesthetics are applied to 20- and 21-cen devices -- see also "The Secret Adventures of Jules Verne" (TV, 2001) and "Wild Wild West" (film, 1999), and a variety of stories based on Charles Babbage's unbuilt Analytical Engine (1837) -- Michael Flynn's _In the Country of the Blind_, Bruce Sterling's _The Difference Engine_, and Charles Sheffield's "Georgia on My Mind". For another invisible thief, see the Sci-Fi Original Series "The Invisible Man" (TV, 2001). http://www.lxgmovie.com /* ************************************************************************ ** Legalese ** Acknowledgments ** Opt-in/out Instructions ** *********************************************************************** */ The original content (layout, text) of this newsletter is copyright 2002 Phillip Thorne. Reproduction in whole or in part is permitted only as per applicable copyright law, if all copyright notices remain intact, and if citation trails (URLs or otherwise) are provided. That said, if you think colleagues would find an issue useful, please reproduce it -- but also suggest they subscribe. Those creative works (books, films, TV, websites, software, toys, etc.) referred-to (reviewed, synopsized, quoted, condensed, analyzed, etc.) herein are the property of their respective owners, are referred-to according to copyright law as interpreted in the U.S., and are cited whenever possible. No (endorsement, infringement, insult) is (expressed, implied, intended), except where specifically stated. In this issue, certain data (possibly not separately acknowledged) have been obtained, aggregated and synthesized from: Andromeda's All Systems University allsystems.org Current TV episode guides epguides.com The Sci Fi Channel scifi.com If you're receiving this newsletter, you've probably intentionally subscribed to it, or possibly you're interested in special topical coverage, or maybe I've sent you a teaser issue. To subscribe and unsubscribe, use the addresses below: Publisher: nsx@underbase.org (human) Newsletter: nsx-l@underbase.org (automated system) nsx-l-subscribe (to subscribe; blank subject) nsx-l-unsubscribe (to unsubscribe) Discussion list: nsx-discuss-l@underbase.org nsx-discuss-l-subscribe (to subscribe; blank subject) nsx-discuss-l (to post) nsx-discuss-l-unsubscribe (to unsubscribe) /* *************************************************************************** ** *************************************************************************** ** The Non-Sequitur Express ** http://nsx.underbase.org/ ** Volume 5, Issue 1: Tuesday, 13 May 2003 ** Copyright 1999-2003 Phillip Thorne, nsx@underbase.org ** *************************************************************************** ** ************************************************************************ */