/** ************************************************************************ *** ************************************************************************ *** The Non-Sequitur Express *** In the country of the deaf, boy bands rely on their choreographers. *** Published at fortnightly or random intervals by Phillip Thorne *** http://nsx.underbase.org/ *** *** Volume 2, Issue 28: Monday, 30 October 2000 *** ************************************************************************ *** ************************************************************************ */ OBSERVATIONS & C: Macro channel replacement, voice acting experiment. ERRATA & O+A+A: Election day, baseball-X, DST, anime timeslot. EXHIBITION REVIEW: Internet World Fall 2000 (pt.1). SOMNABULATION: EVA pilot avoids acid in Seattle, ferries snobs in NYC! UPCOMING: "X-Men Evolution", Halloween, and TV through w-11-nov. plus Legalese, acknowledgements and opt-in/out instructions. /** ************************************************************************ *** OBSERVATIONS & COGITATIONS *** Oh no! Funny symbols have eaten all the broadcasters! *** Scientific Method Man asks: how well does foreign language dubbing work? *** ************************************************************************ */ Eh, lookit this. Last week's issue of _TV Showcase_ ("Oct.23-27, 2000"), the schedule magazine to which my local paper subscribes, decided to implement a remarkable new channel numbering scheme. If I might be allowed to abuse Perl syntax: tr[ 3 6 8 10 12 17 19 23 29 48 57 61 ] [ # & ( * , 1 7 C = P Y > ]g That's right: the Big Three networks were #, & and *; and my favorite syndicated shows were on channels 1, = and Y. The new symbols appeared in both the program grids and the detailed listings. *** Yes, I belong to the generation that came to know /anime/ through group screenings of quasilegal fansubbed imports at college, and hence I share the fashionable contempt for the current crop of English-dubbed FoxKids and KidsWB efforts. Nonetheless, I must admit that, without the subtitles, I was never able to reliably distinguish one Japanese voice actor from another, or to connect them with their characters. Am I uniquely tone-deaf? An experiment is in order, methinks. Let's take two animated series, an /anime/ title originally recorded in Japanese, then dubbed in English; and a NorthAm effort recorded in English, but reverse-dubbed to Japanese. "Escaflowne" and "Beast Wars Transformers" should do nicely. Now, from each of the 4 soundtracks, take 20 lines from 5 different characters, and cut-n-paste them to 4 audio-only files. Grab a pile of experimental subjects -- native speakers of English, Japanese, and (as a control group) French. Play each of the 4 audio files, and have the subjects attempt to identify each voice as it recurs. ("Voice #1, voice #2, voice #3... that was 2 again, now 1, now #4... now 3 again...") Finally, analyze the surveys to determine how well a native speaker of X identifies fellow X speakers, or foreign Y speakers. Three listener groups versus four soundtracks: Listener- en jp fr "Escaflowne" orig. jp: [ ][ ][ ] "Escaflowne" dubd. en: [ ][ ][ ] "Beast Wars" orig. en: [ ][ ][ ] "Beast Wars" dubd. jp: [ ][ ][ ] Soundtrack #1 ("Escaflowne", jp): Character- 1 2 3 4 5 Utterance #01: [ ][ ][ ][ ][ ] Utterance #02: [ ][ ][ ][ ][ ] ... Utterance #20: [ ][ ][ ][ ][ ] /** ************************************************************************ *** ERRATA & OMISSIONS, ADDENDA & ADMISSIONS *** ************************************************************************ */ ERROR, 2.26-Errata: I claimed Election Day was r-7-nov, a Thursday. The date was correct; the day was not. As always, it's a *Tuesday*. Thor's Day, Tiw's Day... couldn't the Norse have honored one of their other gods, and saved us the homophonity hassle and abbreviation ambiguity? Heimdall, maybe; we're not using "H" for any other day or month. Or perhaps L-for- Loki, though that's probably tempting fate (Norse or Greek, take your pick). April First is enough for the deities of tricks-and-discord (Loki, Eris, Coyote, etc.). [Noticed by M.Keller.] Want to cram before the big test? Research 40,000 candidates (US president to city councils) on www.vote-smart.org, and campaign contributions on www.opensecrets.org. [Recommended by Randall E. Stross in _US News_.] ERROR, 2.28-Upcoming: I list last night's "X-Files" as pre-empted by baseball. Coworkers tell me there was no seventh game of the World Series, hence Fox showed the 7th season finale for "The X-Files." OMISSION: If you didn't adjust your clocks for daylight saving's time ("fall back") on Sunday early morning, you're probably very confused by now, and it's too late for me to warn you. OMISSION, 2.27-Upcoming: On r-19-oct, MoviePlex aired the action/robots/miliary anime "Black Magic M-66." I didn't mention it because it aired at 22:00, rather than in MoviePlex's standard 19:00 anime timeslot. /** ******************************************************************** *** EXHIBITION REVIEW *** Internet World Fall 2000 (pt.1) *** w-25-oct-2000 ************************************************************************ */ I've attended many a career fair and the occasional science fair, but on w-25-oct I Amtrak'd from Philadelphia to Manhattan to attend my first trade fair: Internet World Fall 2000. It was very impressive, but also overwhelming; and at least part of that intimidation was due to poor addressing of the show floor. I can understand why the organizers intermixed the exhibitors -- server hardware alongside graphics software, across the aisle from search engines and ISPs. IW isn't a department store; vendors pay for visibility and visits. I *could not*, however, understand/apply the numbering of the individual blocks/parcels. You'd expect something regular like the following, which can account for both the unit booth and all multiples: ____ [0101][0102] [0103][0104] [0105][0106] |0107 | [0201][0202] [0203][0204] [0205][0206] | | [0301]|0302| [0303______] |0305 | | | [0401]|____|x [0403______]x |__________|x |________|x ____ ____ ________________________ ____ |0501||0502| |0503 | |0507 | |____||____| | | | | [0701]|0702| | | | | [0801]|____|x |________________________|x |________|x But instead, it was... (Phil takes a second look at the map) ...something very much like this. Ehrm. Aha! But what *didn't* exist (and this I recall distinctly) were street signs at the corners (indicated by x's), or addresses on the booths themselves. These would've served the critical task of associating the block numbers (on the printed map) with the named vendors. In their absence, I was forced to repeatedly refer to the alphabetic printed index. I'm all hyped up about bad addresses because I was busy playing one of several scavenger hunt sweepstakes games, and couldn't find YellowOnline.com (because they'd moved, argh). The rules: find each participating company (names and addresses listed), answer a question ("what's the number on the back of their badges? what three things does every company need?") and get a sticker confirming your visit. Half the vendors lacked the stickers and initialed the playing card. That was certainly an involved way to win a Vegas vacation. For the less industrious, there were not only the logo-emblazoned freebies ("stocking stuffers," one friend calls them; "tchotchkes" says the newspeak) at most every booth, but also the occasional random drawing for nifty electronica. A Palm III, Palm V, or iPaq PDA; a DVD player, portable DVD, or Tivo; maybe even a bright-orange Humvee. To enter, just let'em scan your badge. Badges? Omce they found Level 1A, preregistrants were channeled in batches to a bank of sixty-some PCs, where they'd enter their name into a webform, select from a disambiguation list (oh no! there was another Phillip Thorne there!), then print. Printer attendants shoved the white-and-orange cards into clear plastic holders, equipped with both pocket clip and neck lanyard. The badge included name, job title, company and city/state, plus a 2D barcode. Most booths were equipped with a handheld laser scanner for capturing this visitor data; operators discovered (to their dismay) that the clear plastic diffused the beam sufficiently to require multiple passes. The paper-tape console then printed not only the badgeholder's contact info, but also their answers to an IW survey (not very useful to the individual exhibitors). More on the 1600-ring circus later... plus a "hull" of a party aboard the USS _Intrepid_ museum... /** ************************************************************************ *** SOMNABULATION *** Evangelion pilot avoids acid in Seattle, but ferries snobs in NYC! *** A slightly fictionalized account of a snoozytime head trip from... *** 5-aug-1999 *** ************************************************************************ */ I'm Shinji Ikari, the main character of the Gainax anime "Neon Genesis Evangelion;" or possibly D.J.Croft, the corresponding (albeit non- emotionally-crippled) character of the Eyrie Productions' fanfic version of the story, "Neon Exodus Evangelion." The spider-shaped Ninth Angel, Matarael, has acquired a large number of extra eyes (rather like the Tenth Angel, Sahaquiel). As a prelude to the attack, power has been cut to the subterranean Geofront HQ installation, and the launch elevators are disabled. The towering humanoid Evangelion mecha, however, have swappable legs for just this sort of contingency (so they can scale sheer ascents) and a red EVA (not necessarily Asuka's Unit 02) is climbing a Geofront shaft to intercept the Angel, the conformal radiator panels on its limbs a-glow. Sahaquiel cries corrosive acid tears down the shaft and onto Red's armor. I rush through the corridors of Central Dogma (the HQ building, not the DNA-RNA-protein doctrine) to the Red's staging area, but am warned off, as the corridors are blocked by large puddles of fallen acid. However, outside, in a sepia-toned Jazz Age multistory airline terminal, an engineer has constructed a hot-air balloon to fly over the puddles. Then the episode ends with a cliffhanger, which I watch on a monitor hanging behind a large coffee kiosk in an airport shopping concourse, possibly in Seattle. An emcee enters, carrying a microphone stand, and addresses the seated audience; we're now surrounded by narrow cedar-like trees, out in the woods. I watch from the shoulder of a nearby road, leaning against the steel rail guarding a steep drop to the valley. There's the sudden CRUMP! of a small explosion. "That ends the time-travel portion of our magic show," announces the emcee dramatically, "Which will be starting soon and running backwards." I turn away, and... ...my car drives itself out of the multistory parking garage into thick Manhattan traffic. It's not moving fast enough for the New York drivers, but to heck with them!, I think from the back seat. Suddenly, a crowd of people spill into the street, heedless of the swarming cars. A man slips and falls, nearly causing several accidents as drivers swerve to avoid him. An older woman -- his wife? -- is standing by the double-parked edge of the street (conveniently next to an ambulance), and swoons. No, it seems her husband is the distinguished older gentleman beside her, wearing a long dark frock coat. With New England upper-crust hauteur, they insist they're *Sheridans*. Captain John Sheridan, commander of the Earth Alliance station Babylon Five, walks over; they sniff disdainfully at him. A *commoner* claiming the same name? Hmmph! Snobs or not, I allow the entire lot to pile into my car, to convey them to a nearby hospital. The silly car almost turns the wrong way onto a one-way street, then takes a sharp right turn into the out-lane of a confusingly- arranged intersection cluttered with cement traffic islands and black- painted cast-iron traffic signals. It finally swerves into the correct lane and into the hospital parking notch. My passengers turn and ask me (and my sister) if we can watch the car. "I've piloted an eighty-foot semiorganic mecha against Rage, Redemption and Fear," I growl, offended. "I should think so!" It's fortunate they aren't familiar with my combat record... ...taking a subvocalized cue from my EVA on battle tactics, I dive us into the amorphous Angel we're combatting. "Well, *that* was dumb," I tell my semi-sentient mount as soon as we're stuck inside. I make like a squeegee and push the black gelloid being out from the middle. Its substance breaks up, forming the discrete components of a universe comprised almost entirely of killer whales in a spectrum of sizes -- some large, most small. /** ************************************************************************ *** UPCOMING *** Series, Seasons, Episodes, Movies, Books *** ************************************************************************ */ HEADS UP... Current and upcoming feature films::: Bedazzled 20-Oct-00 The Legend of Drunken Master 20-Oct-00 The Little Vampire 27-Oct-00 Upside-down cows! Red Planet 10-Nov-00 Robot commando stalks crewmates. How the Grinch Stole Christmas 17-Nov-00 The 6th Day 17-Nov-00 Arnie gets xoxed. Unbreakable 22-Nov-00 Bruce survives train wreck. Dungeons & Dragons 8-Dec-00 The Emperor's New Groove 13-Dec-00 Disney animated #39. In response to last issue's despair regarding cartoons, one reader confided that he actually finds the listings useful. So they're back! Lessee... This t-31-oct there's no "Angel;" instead two "Buffy" Halloween repeats air. The latest "Simpsons" Halloween special airs this w-1-nov-20:00. The new seasons of "Futurama," "King of the Hill," "Simpsons" and "The X-Files" premiere on s-5-nov, starting at 19:30. KidsWB rearranges its schedule to make room for "X-Men Evolution," starting z-4-nov-10:30. FoxKids has rescheduled its Saturdays (for the third time this fall), and "Escaflowne" has been replaced (permanently?) by the returning "NASCAR Racers." Whatever the Cartoon Network was airing before, it's now definitely "Tenchi Universe." Since Diana Rigg is listed in the cast, MoviePlex is apparently counting one-hour episodes of "The Avengers" as movies. Judging by the associated graphic, however, the database at tv.excite.com thinks it's last year's FoxKids superhero cartoon, "Avengers" (no "The"). Nickelodeon has a new cartoon weeknights at 20:00, called "Pelswick." Like several others of recent ("Baby Blues," "Dilbert") and not-so-recent ("Garfield and Friends") vintage, it's based on a newspaper comic strip; this one is authored by quadraplegic artist John Callahan, and the title character is wheelchair-bound (or as he prefers to put it, "permanently seated"). See: www.callahanonline.com. [So reports _US News_.] The Sci-Fi Channel is now showing "Viper" (the 1994 version) on weeknights 20:00. The truly militarily pointless "Space: Above and Beyond" seems to be airing Saturdays at 11:00, but this Wednesday you can see a whole pile of episodes in rapid succession: SAAB Stay with the Dead pg sfc z 1028-1100 SAAB Who Monitors the Birds sfc w 1101-1100 SAAB Pearly sfc w 1101-1200 SAAB R&R sfc w 1101-1300 SAAB Stardust sfc w 1101-1400 SAAB Sugar Dirt sfc w 1101-1500 SAAB Who Monitors the Birds sfc z 1104-1100 ANIMATION AND QUASIKINDERFARE... Sim Homer the Heretic 29 m 1106-1830 Sim Missionary: Impossible 29 m 1106-1900 Sim Bart's Friend Falls in Love 29 t 1107-1830 Sim Pygmoelian 29 t 1107-1900 * Sim A Tale of Two Springfields (season prem) fox s 1105-2000 DBZ Another Super Saiyan y7 ton w 1106-0030 DBZ Welcome Back Goku y7 ton r 1107-0030 DBZ Mystery Revealed y7 ton f 1108-0030 DBZ Goku's Special Technique y7 ton z 1109-0030 * PRLR Mighty Mega Battles y7 fox z 1028-0800 * ActM The Hereafter Factor y7 fox z 1028-0830 Digi Battle for Earth y7 fox z 1028-0900 r Digi The Digiteam Complete fox z 1028-0930 * TFBM Spark of Darkness y7 fox z 1028-1000 * Digi Samurai of Sincerity fox z 1028-1030 * Nasc Second Chances y7 fox z 1028-1100 MIB The Jack O'Lantern Syndrome y7 wb z 1028-0800 * Chan Project A, for Astral y7 wb z 1028-0900 r SShk Aftershock wb z 1028-1030 * MxSt The Return y7 wb z 1028-1130 MIB The Way Out West Syndrome y7 wb m 1030-1500 MxSt Swashbucklers y7 wb m 1030-1530 MIB The Jack O'Lantern Syndrome y7 wb t 1031-1500 BBy Revenant wb t 1031-1530 MIB The Star System Syndrome y7 wb w 1101-1500 BBy Mind Games wb w 1101-1530 MIB The Worm Guy-Guy Syndrome y7 wb r 1102-1500 BBy The Eggbaby wb r 1102-1530 BBy Ascension wb f 1103-1530 r Ccap No Way Out wb f 1103-1530 * BBy Speak No Evil wb z 1104-0800 r Chan Enter the Viper wb z 1104-0900 * Ccap The Cave y wb z 1104-0930 * Ccap Buyer Beware wb z 1104-0930 * SShk They're Playing My Song wb z 1104-1030 * XMnE Strategy X (series premiere) wb z 1104-1030 * MxSt Fun in the Sun y7 wb z 1104-1130 PRIMETIME ETC. PROGRAMMING... MST The Giant Spider Invasion sfc z 1028-0900 BCJ Brisco for the Defense pg tnt z 1028-1000 * Cle Brain Drain pg 17 z 1028-1400 * JAT Monkey Business pg 17 z 1028-1430 * EFC Limbo 17 z 1028-1700 * SG1 Legacy pg 29 z 1028-1700 s 1105-0400 * And D Minus Zero 17 z 1028-1800 r Fut When Aliens Attack fox s 1029-1900 Sim (pr'emp'd by baseball) fox s 1029-2000 r PJs He's Gotta Have It 14 wb s 1029-2030 XF (pr'emp'd by baseball) fox s 1029-2100 * Ros The End of the World pg wb m 1030-2000 Pels (Pelswick) nik t 1031-2000 r Buf Fear, Itself 14 wb t 1031-2000 * Building Big: Tunnels g 12 t 1031-2100 f 1103-2200 * DkA C.R.E.A.M. pg buf t 1031-2100 r Buf Halloween 14 wb t 1031-2100 Vpr Pilot, pt.1 sfc w 1101-2000 * 7D The Dunwych Madness pg upn w 1101-2000 * Vgr Critical Care pg upn w 1101-2100 z 1104-2300 mov Battle in Outer Space (1960) plx r 1102-1830 1:30 mov Sol Bianca (1:00) 14 plx r 1102-2000 r 1103-0400 Avengers: A Chorus of Frogs plx f 1103-2000 z 1104-0410 r Inv Impetus sfc f 1103-2000 f 1103-2300 * Fre The Chase pg upn f 1103-2000 * Fky Subject: Desert Squid! Myth or Legend? 14 fox f 1103-2100 * Lv9 DefCon pg upn f 1103-2100 r SG1 Divide and Conquer 14 sho f 1103-2200 MST Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders sfc z 1104-0900 Cle (pr'emp'd by football) 17 z 1104-1400 JAT (pr'emp'd by football) 17 z 1104-1430 SG1 Learning Curve pg 29 z 1104-1500 * EFC Motherlode 17 z 1104-1700 * And Double Helix 17 z 1104-1800 Vgr Rise! pg 57 s 1105-0000 * Fut The Honking (season premiere) fox s 1105-1900 * KtH The Buck Stops Here (season premiere) fox s 1105-1930 * Sim A Tale of Two Springfields (season prem) fox s 1105-2000 PJs The Jeffersons wb s 1105-2030 * XF Within (season premiere) fox s 1105-2100 * Ros Harvest pg wb m 1106-2000 Vpr Once a Thief... sfc t 1107-2000 * Buf Family 14 wb t 1107-2000 * Ang Guise Will Be Guise wb t 1107-2100 Vpr Pilot, pt.2 sfc w 1108-2000 * 7D Olga's Excellent Vacation upn w 1108-2000 * Vgr Inside Man upn w 1108-2100 abc wpvi-6, cbs kyw-3, fox wtxf-29, ind wgtw-48, ind wfmz-69, nbc wcau-10, pbs whyy-12, pbs wybe-35, upn wpsg-57, wb wphl-17; fx F/X, plx MoviePlex, sfc Sci-Fi Channel, sho Showtime, tnt is TNT, ton Cartoon Network, usa USA. 7D 7 Days, And Andromeda, Ang Angel, BCJ Brisco County Junior, Buf Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Chm Charmed, DkA Dark Angel, EFC Earth: Final Conflict, Fky FreakyLinks, Fre Freedom, Fut Futurama, Inv The Invisible Man, KtH King of the Hill, Lv9 Level 9, MST Mystery Science Theater 3000, PJs The PJs, SG1 StarGate SG-1, Sim Simpsons, Vgr Star Trek: Voyager, XF The X-Files. STRIPPED SF... Star Trek: The Next Generation Weeknights (Tue-Fri) 21:00 1 hour, TV-PG, WFMZ-69 Shades of Grey 148 t 1031 Evolution 150/301 w 1101 Wesley vs. his own nano experiment. The Ensigns of Command 149/302 r 1102 Data vs. stubborn colonists. The Survivors 151/303 f 1103 Hoosnock vs. undercover Dowd. (Pr'emp'd by election coverage) t 1107 Who Watches the Watchers? 152 w 1108 Prime Directive vs. indigenes. The Bonding 153 r 1109 Babylon 5: The Widescreen Edition Weeknights (Mon-Fri) 19:00 1 hour, TV-PG, The Sci-Fi Channel Revelations 202 m 1030 (Pr'emp'd by Halloween) t 1031 The Geometry of Shadows 203 w 1101 A Distant Star 204 r 1102 Really big explorer ship. The Long Dark 205 f 1103 Creature arrives with corpsicles. A Spider in the Web 206 m 1106 Soul Mates 208 t 1107 A Race Through Dark Places 207 w 1108 The Coming of Shadows 209 r 1109 Centauri Emperor visits. GROPOS 210 f 1110 Overrun by marines! All Alone in the Night 211 m 1113 Acts of Sacrifice 212 t 1114 Hunter, Prey 213 w 1115 There All the Honor Lies 215 r 1116 And Now for a Word 214 f 1117 ISN profiles B5 and crew. /** ************************************************************************ *** Legalese *** Acknowledgments *** Opt-in/out Instructions *** ************************************************************************ */ The set of creative works herein reviewed and analyzed, including the subset {books, movies, TV shows, toys}, are the property of their respective copyright holders. No infringement or endorsement is expressed, implied or intended. The original reviews and analyses are themselves copyright 2000 by Phillip Thorne. In this issue, certain data have been obtained and aggregated from: Excite tv.excite.com Star Trek Continuum startrek.com Upcoming Movies upcomingmovies.com If you're receiving this newsletter, you've probably intentionally subscribed to it, because I finally bothered all of the procrastinators till they acceded. And I happen to know that none of you are family members, though I keep asking. If you're reading this on the web, you're not "receiving" it, are you? In any case, to cancel your subscription, send an email message to pethorne@earthlink.net with the words "UNSUBSCRIBE NON-SEQUITUR" in the subject line and/or body. Capitalization and punctuation don't matter, since I'm (still!) doing this all manually (even parts of Upcoming). /** ************************************************************************ *** ************************************************************************ *** The Non-Sequitur Express *** http://nsx.underbase.org/ *** Volume 2, Issue 28: Monday, 30 October 2000 *** Copyright 1999-2000 Phillip Thorne, pethorne@earthlink.net *** ************************************************************************ *** ************************************************************************ */