/** ************************************************************************
** *************************************************************************
** The Non-Sequitur Express
** "The vodka is strong, but the meat is rotten."*
** Published at fortnightly or random intervals by Phillip Thorne
** http://nsx.underbase.org/
**
** Volume 2, Issue 23: Friday, 08 September 2000
** *************************************************************************
** *********************************************************************** */

   OBSERVATIONS & C: TOS, weasels, flotsam, blood, words, brooms, Gene's.
     ERRATA & O+A+A: Dune, Witchblade, TNG nights, animagi.
        ENUMERATION: NASA's mission-numbering scheme for the Space Shuttle.
      BOOK ANALYSIS: More "Harry Potter" -- Quidditch, magic, predictions.
SERIES PRE-ANALYSIS: "Andromeda" -- crew, music, ship.
           UPCOMING: EFC S4, cartoons, primetime, end of B5 on TNT.
               plus
Legalese, acknowledgements and opt-in/out instructions.

/** ************************************************************************
** OBSERVATIONS & COGITATIONS
** URLs, flotsam-n-jetsam, weasels, STS numbering, broomsticks, quote.
** *********************************************************************** */

Today yesterday... On this date in 1966, "Star Trek" premiered on
NBC.  The Unix command "cal 9 1966" tells me it was a Thursday.  [Via
SPACE.com.]

Today's factoid... The ermine, ferret, mink, otter and skunk are all
weasels; 67 species in all.  [Courtesy of the O'Reilly book _Web
Design in a Nutshell_ (Niederst 19999).]

Today's Words-to-Confuse... FLOTSAM is the wreckage of a ship (and
possibly its cargo), either floating or washed ashore.  JETSAM is
cargo (possibly washed ashore) that was intentionally ditched (i.e.
*jet*tisoned) to reduce a ship's weight.  Flotsam: wreckage.  Jetsam:
tossage.  Both: salvage.

Today's public service announcement... Blood donation typically drops
off during the summer, but demand typically spikes during the Labor
Day travel weekend (when people spike the punch, impale their cars on
spikes, etc.)  You can contact the sanguine exsanguinators of the Red
Cross at 1-800-GIVE-LIFE.  It automatically caller-IDs your phone and
tells you if there's no donation center in your area (but doesn't
suggest any nearby ones).

Today's masthead quote... is a famous example of the perils of
computerized natural-language translation.  In the 1950s, US
researchers were attempting to translate Soviet documents.  Piping
the proverb "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak" through
the English-Russian and Russian-English translators, they reputedly
got this disappointing/surprising output.  So how to get to "Trek's"
Universal Translator, which can instantly interpret novel alien
tongues?  Who knows?  *I* know that, the other day in the computer
department at Staples [an office supply store], I bought a product 
called LanguageForce Universal Translator (Standard) which claims 
to interpret webpages (and email) in 25 languages, plus spell check 
and translate in your word processor.  Who knows?  With the rebate 
it was free.  See: www.languageforce.com.

Today's edits... I've started prefixing my inline URLs with www.  In
some mail clients, such as MSOutlook(Express), they should be live-n-
clickable.  I've added additional coverage of the BotCon 2000
convention to the NSX website at nsx.underbase.org/review/conv/bc-
2000.htm.  What did the voice actors feel, the toymakers reveal, the
organizers conceal?  Find out!

It occurs to me that a broomstick is probably very painful to sit
upon for extended periods; even bicycle seats, so much wider than a
wooden dowel, can inflict horrible damage on, say, a human male.
Either wizards are made of sterner stuff than us Muggles, or they
know something about ergonomics that we don't, or Quidditch sticks
are optimized in a way that would preclude their use for spring
cleaning. The following are generic stickfigures (possibly bald and
probably hatless) riding generic broomsticks:

      0                   0
      /\                 /\
  ---/-/-<EE ~~~ *** >>>-\-\---  
       `--,           ,--'

Oh no!  They've both circumnavigated the globe and are about to collide!
                                      !
                      > 0 <           0
                       /\             /\
               *** >>>-\-\---     ---/-/-<EE ~~~
                    ,--'               `--,

For those of you living within range of the King of Prussia mall,
independent-and-comprehenisve bookseller Gene's Books (www.genesbooks.com)
will be closing in November.  Oh no!  There will be only three 
bookstores remaining in the largest mall on the East Coast 
(second-largest in the US)!

* www.kingofprussiamall.com ...King of Prussia, Pennsylvania, USA (2.8Msqft)
* www.mallofamerica.com .......Bloomington, Minnesota, USA (4.2Msqft)
* www.westedmontonmall.com ....West Edmonton, Alberta, Canada (5.3Msqft)

/** ************************************************************************
** ERRATA & OMISSIONS, ADDENDA & ADMISSIONS
** *********************************************************************** */

Oops.  During this past Labor Day weekend, SFC aired the long (4 hours
with ads) version of "Dune."  I haven't checked for repeats of
"Witchblade" on TNT; I taped it (possibly) only because it's based on
a comic book (by whom, I haven't checked) and is therefore good.  Or
possibly bad, but at least it's not TNT's staple of westerns,
historicals and wrestling.  I've been labeling ST:TNG as airing on
Tue-Thu-Fri, but it's actually Tue-*thru*-Fri, as the listings below
said label indicate.

There are no mentions of mages in the first four "Harry Potter" books,
but Book 3 introduces the term "animagi" (singular animagus): wizards
who can transform into animals.  Natural-born animagi are rare, and
required to register with the Ministry of Magic, but it's possible to
covertly acquire the power through complex enchantments.

/** ************************************************************************
** ENUMERATION
** NASA's mission-numbering scheme for the Space Shuttle
** *********************************************************************** */

In the current film "Space Cowboys," NASA launches the shuttle
_Horizon_ (redubbed _Daedalus_ to honor its septugenarian crew) on
mission STS-200.  The numbering scheme has been subject to several
confusing revisions -- and unless there's another one, we won't hit
"200" for at least a decade. OV-104 _Atlantis_ launched on the 99th
flight (STS-106) today at 8:45:57 EST.

(1) Originally, flights were assigned sequential numbers, starting
with STS-1.  (STS stands for "space transportation system.")  This
scheme continued for 25 launches and 8 cancellations through STS-33,
the 1986 _Challenger_ disaster.  

(2) From STS-9 to -33 each mission also carried 3-alphanumeric
designator encoding fiscal year of the scheduled launch, sequence in
that year, and launch site; "41-D" would be FY1984, fourth mission,
from Florida's Kennedy Space Center. (Vandenberg has been used ...)

(3) With the resumption of flights in 1988, NASA restarted with STS-
26R, the "reflight" suffix to disambiguate from prior missions. This
continued through STS-33R. 

(4) Comprehensible numbering resumed with STS-34.  Numbers are now
assigned 19 months before flight, but since missions may be
rescheduled, they don't necessarily reflect launch order.  The mission
launched 8-sep-2000 is STS-106 _Atlantis_ (OV-104)

Launch Mission      Date         Orbiter
  1    STS-1        12-apr-1981  OV-102 Columbia
  9    STS-9   41A  28-nov-1983  OV-102 Columbia
 25    STS-33  51L  28-jan-1986  OV-099 Challenger (fire, death, disaster)
 26    STS-26R      29-sep-1988  OV-103 Discovery  (resumption)
 31    STS-34       18-oct-1989  OV-104 Atlantis
 32    STS-33R      22-nov-1989  OV-103 Discovery
 99    STS-106       8-sep-2000  OV-104 Atlantis

[Data obtained from www.nasa.gov and _Space Shuttle: The History of Developing the National Space Transportation System_, Dennis Jenkins 1997]

/** ************************************************************************
** BOOK ANALYSIS
** Harry Potter (and the ABC of XYZ)
** By J.K.Rowling
** (Continued from Issue 2.22)
** *********************************************************************** */

As a monospaced ASCII schematic, the players, equipment, and
responsibilities of the game of Quidditch look like this:

                            _0_
                             |
                            / \ 
                       _0_       _0_
                        |   ~.~   |
                       / \       / \
                   _0_)_0_)     (_0_(_0_
                    |   |   o o   |   |
                   / \ / \       / \ / \
( )( )( ) _0_  _0_ _0_ _0_       _0_ _0_ _0_  _0_ ( )( )( )
 I  I  I   |    |   |   |    O    |   |   |    |   I  I  I 
 I  I  I  / \  / \ / \ / \       / \ / \ / \  / \  I  I  I

Players: 1 (one) referree; plus 2 (two) teams each with 1 (one)
Seeker, 2 (two) Beaters, 3 (three) Chasers and 1 (one) Keeper.
Equipment: 1 (one) Golden Snitch, 2 (two) Bludgers, 1 (one) Quaffle; 
2 (two) Bludger clubs; and 2 (two) sets of 3 (three) goal hoops on 
50-foot posts; plus 15 (fifteen) broomsticks.

***

While magic can meet or exceed Muggle technology in many areas, it's
oddly deficient in a few important ones -- and not just because wizard
cultural priorities differ from ours.  

Owls can deliver a package to the desired recepient, even without an
address; but there are no ubiquitous realtime telecommunications.
(There seems to be a variant of Floo powder that can transmit your
head into a fireplace).  Photos and portraits move, but only due to
the stored personality subsets of the subject; there are no repeatable
video records.  Intelligence can be embedded in any object (portraits,
talking mirrors, diaries with personality extracts), but hardcopy
books are the most advanced form of data storage; there are no
searchable databases, no inference engines.  There are no computer
simulations; R&D is entirely empirical.  The monetary system is based
exclusively on specie (coins); there's no evidence that the goblin
bankers of Gringotts can make loans, collect interest, or write
traveler's checks.

And the coinage denominations -- 17 bronze Knuts to a silver Sickle,
29 Sickles to a gold Galleon -- are wizards simply obsessed with prime
numbers?

***

My predictions for the coming books: 

* Lord Voldemort recruits Harry's cousin, Dudley Dursley, and 
  puts his bullying talents and excess mass to bad use.
* Harry's relatives and adoptive parents die horribly, but it's 
  not nearly as satisfying as he might have hoped.
* The Death Eaters stage mass attacks against Muggles, and the 
  carefully-maintained seclusion of the wizarding community is 
  shattered.  
* Harry and Hermione must bridge the cultural gap.
* Professor Severus Snape reluctantly sacrifices himself to 
  save Harry, then returns as a ghost.
* A crack crew of electrical engineers learn to harden electronic 
  gear against magical interference.  

/** ************************************************************************
** SERIES PRE-ANALYSIS
** "Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda"
**
** *********************************************************************** */

As the 2-oct premiere of "Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda" approaches,
its makers have begun to regularly release promotional materials on
the official website (www.andromedatv.com).  A month ago they added a
gallery of crew photos (and corridors), and last week they posted two
images of the starship itself.  This week we have more of the crew
(and the bridge set, and fuzzy dice), plus an MP3 of the opening
music.

Rev Bem, the cast's token XT (extraterrestrial), is -- well, there's
no polite way to put this -- ugly.  He's a warty big-eared bat with
pudgy taloned paws (think "Tetraps" from the "Doctor Who" episode
"Time and the Rani").  Ferengi and Talaxians are probably the most
extreme of "Trek's" regular characters, but they at least have smooth
hides.  That texture would be more acceptable on a totally
nonhumanoid, non-faced character -- maybe with writhing tentacles.
Why do critters like Sulamid (pink with 12 sexes, all of whom insist
they're male, especially the ones that bear children) and Horta appear
only in Diane Duane's "Trek" novels?

You can say your computer is hot (if the fan breaks down), and you can
cleave a crystal, and you can build a computer in crystal... but you
don't often speak of a computer's cleavage.  The AI that runs the
_Andromeda Ascendant_ happens to be female (some of the High Guard's
ships are male), and she can multitask using ambulatory peripherals.
Several of the gallery photos depict these androids wearing their,
errr, variant uniform; the neckline is rather different from that seen
on the other crew (Dylan Hunt/Kevin Sorbo et al).

The photos don't show that much of the bridge, but there's enough to
see it's suspiciously similar to those found aboard Starfleet ships in
"Trek."  There's a central commander's seat, console displays around
the bulkheads, and railings between the two.  The predominant color is
bronze, like Ferengi or Cardassian decor (or Predacon leader
Transmetal Megatron).

"Andromeda's" opening theme ("March of the High Guard") is by Alex
Lifeson of the band Rush and features 20,000 overdubbed guitars.  The
file on andromedatv.com is an intermediate work-in-progress; it's a
57-second, 900-kB MP3 (ignore the notation claiming 7.5-MB).  Yes, I
agree with the copy; it's nothing like I've heard on SF before -- it's
also not nearly as memorable/hummable as the "Trek," "B5" or "Earth:
Final Conflict" themes.

***

As for the _Andromeda Ascendant_ itself -- it's also unlike anything
you've seen before, and equally as difficult to abstract.  One of the
design dictates for the title character of "Deep Space 9" (yes,
machines are characters) was that, like the _Enterprise_, it could be
captured (even by a child) with a few distinctive lines: an axis, a
few concentric circles, three sweeping arcs.  The _Andromeda_, in
contrast, follows what I call the Pretzel School of Shipbuilding.

Start with a central boatlike ovoid hull, extrude upward into a
conning tower, then explode outward along a half-dozen overlapping
arches (called "blades" in a SPACE.com interview).  The two official
images are from slightly different angles, but I've had of a dilly of
a time trying to derive plan and elevation views -- this might be one
of those ships that looks good only in action poses.  A model like
this can only be built in CGI, which is why there haven't been many on
TV: the Brakiri vessels and Minbari _Whitestar_ destroyers from "B5"
are the closest precedents I can recall, though the Romulan
_D'Deridex_ Warbird from ST:TNG might be a distant ancestor, and the
_Sol Bianca_ of the eponymous anime shares a sculptural quality.
(Respectively, they're topological genus 6, 3, 5, 3 and 4; the
_Enterprises_ are all 0 (equivalent to a sphere) and the _Reliant_
from STII:TWoK is only a 1 (a torus).)

The surface features, texture and color likewise defy description.
There are mysterious bulges, infoldings, ridges, louvres and fins.
The predominant color is soapstone-white with pale blue tracings;
several of the blades are lined with glowing red or blue strips.
There are no red-green-white formation lights, or cabin viewports
(they wouldn't be visible on a 1300-meter ship, but maybe the
designers finally realized windows are vulnerable and went with hi-res
viewscreens).  Nothing much resembles a reaction engine, nor are the
ship's weapons (40 missile tubes, 12 turrets and 12 fixed cannons)
apparent.

(According to the SPACE.com interview, the individual ships in a class
will have the same shape, but distinctive coloration.  Moreover,
weapons don't appear till the ship transforms to battle mode, with
armored panels sliding into place.  That process is described as
"mechanical," not "morphing" -- ironic, given that the ship has
nanotech that *could* implement such a fine-grained
transmogrification.  Think of the contrast between the two
incarnations of the "Viper" TV series.)

Overall, the _Andromeda Ascendant_ reminds me of river-smoothed
pebbles, baked ceramic, an eroded marble statue with its features
reduced to anonymous lumps -- or perhaps most fittingly, the blue
veins of a squid running through its ivory flesh, siphons turned
outward, tentacles folded over in yogic meditation.  

***

* www.space.com/sciencefiction/tv/andromeda_ship_design_000901.html
  ...interview with visual effects supervisor Jim Finn.
* www.space.com/peopleinterviews/livespace/wolfe_answers.php3 
  ...transcript of 24-aug online chat with co-executive producer and 
  writer Robert Hewitt Wolfe, featuring three of my questions (#19, 21 
  and 22).
* www.andromedatv.com/anpics.html ...pictures of the ship.
* www.andromedatv.com/gallery_main2.html ...second photo gallery 
  (Javascript required).
* www.andromedatv.com/music.html ...prototype series theme (instrumental).
* www.slipstreamweb.com ...primary fan site.

/** ************************************************************************
** UPCOMING
** Series, Seasons, Episodes, Movies, Books
** *********************************************************************** */

HEADS UP...

The fourth season of "Earth Final Conflict" premieres the same week as
"Andromeda," 2-oct.  Check local listings for exact syndicator and
timeslot.

ANIMATION...

There are a few new series this weekend.  The WB adds "Jackie Chan 
Adventures" (JcCh) at 09:00, and "Generation O!" (GenO, animated) 
at 10:30 (repeats f-16:30).  FoxKids *has* actually discarded 
"Angela Anaconda" (hooray!), but "Dinozaurs" (Dinz) assumes its 
timeslot (z-11:30).

* PRLR The Omega Project              1020/203 y7 fox z 0909-0800
* C6   Lori is Missing                     105 y7 fox z 0909-0830
r Digi The Legend of the Digi-destined     113 y7 fox z 0909-0900
* JcCh The Dark Hand                       101 --  wb z 0909-0900
* AcMn Double Vision                       106 y7 fox z 0909-0930
* TFBM A Wolf in the Fold                  205 y7 fox z 0909-1000
* Digi Guardian Angel                      207 y7 fox z 0909-1030
* GenO You Copied                          104 y   wb z 0909-1030
* Esca Seal of the Brothers                105 y7 fox z 0909-1100
* Dinz The Battle of the Drago-Clones      108 y7 fox z 0909-1130

* JcCh The Power Within                    102 --  wb z 0916-0900
* GenO Deviated Tonsils                    107 --  wb z 0916-1030

AcMn Action Man (cgi), C6 Cybersix, Digi Digimon: Digital Monsters 
(anime), Dinz Dinozaurs (anime), Esca Escaflowne (anime), GenO 
Generation O!, JcCh Jackie Chan Adventures, PRLR Power Rangers 
Lightspeed Rescue (sentai), TFBM Beast Machines Transformers (cgi).

PRIMETIME ETC. PROGRAMMING...

r EFC Apparition                           319 pg  17 z 0909-1600 s 0917-2330
r SG1 Family                               208 pg  29 z 0909-1700 s 0917-0400
r Vgr Muse                             944/62? pg upn z 0909-1800
r Inv Ralph                                103 --  48 z 0909-2000
  SI1 ??                                       --  35 z 0909-2200
  Who ??                                       --  35 z 0909-2300
  Who ??                                       --  35 z 0909-2330
r Vgr Warlord                          852/??? pg upn z 0909-2300
  Fut (pre'mp'd by "Speed" (1994))                    s 0910-1900
  Sim (pre'mp'd)                                      s 0910-2000
r PJs Operation Gumbo Drop                 111 --  wb s 0910-2030
  XF  (pre'mp'd)                                      s 0910-2100

r BB  World's Greatest Dad              225052 pg  wb f 0915-2000 
* Inv Cat & Mouse                          113 pg sfc f 0915-2000 f 0915-2300
r PJs Bones, Bugs and Harmony              107 --  wb f 0915-2030
r SAM The Breech                           112 pg upn f 0915-2100
* Fsc A Clockwork Nebari                   --- 14 sfc f 0915-2100 z 0916-0000
* Lex Boomtown                             304 -- sfc f 0915-2200 z 0916-0100
* SG1 Tangent                              412 pg sho f 0915-2200

r EFC One Taelon Avenue                    320 pg  17 z 0916-1600 s 0924-2330
r SG1 ??                                   --- --  29 z 0916-1700
* Inv Reunion                              112 --  48 z 0916-2000

abc wpvi-6, cbs kyw-3, fox wtxf-29, ind wgtw-48, ind wfmz-69, nbc wcau-10, 
pbs whyy-12, pbs wybe-35, upn wpsg-57, wb wphl-17; plx MoviePlex, 
sfc Sci-Fi Channel, sho Showtime, tnt is TNT, ton Cartoon Network. 

7D 7 Days, Ang Angel, B5 Babylon 5, Buf Buffy the Vampire Slayer, 
Chm Charmed, Cle Cleopatra 2525, Dil Dilbert, EFC Earth: Final Conflict, 
Fsc Farscape, Fut Futurama, FWv First Wave, GWg Gundam Wing, 
Inv The Invisible Man, JAT Jack of All Trades, Lex Lexx, Ros Roswell, 
SAM Secret Agent Man, SG1 StarGate SG-1, SI1 Space Island One, 
Sim Simpsons, TNG Star Trek: The Next Generation, Vgr Star Trek: Voyager, 
Who Doctor Who, XF The X-Files.

STRIPPED SF...

Star Trek: The Next Generation
Weeknights (Tue-Fri) 21:00 1 hour, TV-PG, WFMZ-69
 Coming of Age           119 t 0912 Wesley's first application to Academy.
 Heart of Glory          120 w 0913 Renegade Klingons with concealed guns.
 The Arsenal of Freedom  121 r 0914 Picard buys proto-Borg from holo-guy.
 Symbiosis               123 f 0915 Electric drug addict twin planets.
 Skin of Evil            122 t 0919 Oil slick kills Yar, taunts Troi.
 We'll Always Have Paris 124 w 0920 Picard's old flame, time rift husband.

Babylon 5
Weekdays and Saturdays 06:00 1 hour, TV-PG, TNT
 In the Kingdom of the Blind  509 r 0907 Byron's ultimatum; Centauri Prime.
 A Tragedy of Telepaths       510 f 0908 Lochley calls Bester.
 Phoenix Rising               512 z 0909 Garibaldi v. Bester.	

 The Day of the Dead          511 m 0911 Brakiri buy station, ghosts return.
 The Ragged Edge              513 t 0912 Shipping raids originate on Drazi.
 The Corps Is Father...Mother 514 w 0913 Bester pursues killer teep.
 Meditations on the Abyss     515 r 0914 Delenn sends Lennier re: raids.
 Darkness Ascending           516 f 0915 Lennier, Lyta-G'Kar-teeps, 'baldi.
 And All My Dreams Torn Asunder 7 z 0916 Garibaldi avert war? Londo on CP.
 
 Movements of Fire and Shadow 518 m 0918 Delenn to Minbar, L+G trapped on CP.
 The Fall of Centauri Prime   519 t 0919 Delenn drifts, Alliance nears CP. 
 The Wheel of Fire            520 w 0920 G'Kar's followers, Sher' v. 'baldi.
 Objects in Motion            521 r 0921 Mars! And people leave.
 Objects at Rest              522 f 0922
 Sleeping in Light            --- z 0923 20 years later, Sheridan dies.
 
/** ************************************************************************
** Legalese 
** Acknowledgments
** Opt-in/out Instructions
** *********************************************************************** */

The set of creative works herein reviewed and analyzed, including the
subset {books, movies, TV shows, toys}, are the property of their
respective copyright holders.  No infringement or endorsement is
expressed, implied or intended.  The original reviews and analyses are
themselves copyright 2000 by Phillip Thorne.  In this issue, certain data
have been obtained and aggregated from:

                                       Excite  tv.excite.com
                 Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda  www.andromedatv.com
National Aeronautics and Space Administration  www.nasa.gov
                                    SPACE.com  www.space.com

If you're receiving this newsletter, you've probably intentionally
subscribed to it. Or possibly you've procrastinated in subscribing and
I'm sending it to you anyway.  Or maybe you're a family member and I'm
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words "UNSUBSCRIBE NON-SEQUITUR" in the subject line and/or body.
Capitalization and punctuation don't matter, since I'm doing this all
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/** ************************************************************************
** *************************************************************************
** The Non-Sequitur Express
** http://nsx.underbase.org/
** Volume 2, Issue 23: Friday, 08 September 2000
** Copyright 1999-2000 Phillip Thorne, pethorne@earthlink.net
** *************************************************************************
** *********************************************************************** */