/** ************************************************************************ * ************************************************************************* * The Non-Sequitur Express * "Hmmm, Si means Yes."* * Published at fortnightly or random intervals by Phillip Thorne * http://nsx.underbase.org/ * * Volume 2, Issue 21: Thursday, 17 August 2000 * ************************************************************************* * *********************************************************************** */ OBSERVATIONS & C: Meatballs, retroviri, "Sammy". ERRATA & O+A+A: Anime listings, Tarella or Talaria? SERIES REVIEW: NBC'S "Sammy" -- all two episodes. BOOK SYNOPSIS: _Star Trek: The Badlands_ by Susan Wright. UPCOMING: Anime, toons, primetime, Saturday premieres. plus Legalese, acknowledgements and opt-in/out instructions. /** ************************************************************************ * OBSERVATIONS & COGITATIONS * *********************************************************************** */ "On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese, I lost my poor meatball, when somebody sneezed..." As a youngster, that song always depressed me. I identified with both the protagonist and his Italian-themed dinner, and possibly with the carpet over which said meatball rolled before exiting through the door. When it winds up under the bush, as nothing but mush -- that's the most heart-wrenching verse of all, because in losing its spherical shape, it loses its identity, its very *meatballness*. I wasn't consoled even by the final stanza, in which a meatball- and sauce-bearing tree arises from its resting place. But now, with the prospect of advanced genetic engineering and molecular nanotechnology, it's entirely conceivable we *could* create a meatball stocked with edible nanobots, bots designed to create an artificial plant with dinner entrée fruit. I just haven't quite figured how to fit "retrovirus" and "resequenced genome" into the rhyme pattern. The long-promised coverage of the BotCon 2000 Transformers convention is available on my "Non-Sequitur Plus!" site. I'm adding sections as I finish them. The URL is: http://nsx.underbase.org/review/conv/bc-2000.htm It's "conv" not "con" because I like to echo the site to my Win32 box, and "con" would seem to be a reserved directory name. * Today's quote is from the second and final episode of the David Spade animated series "Sammy," which has been canceled by NBC after only two low-rated episodes. Hence, "Son of Sammy" will not be airing on tue-22- aug as the Upcoming schedule indicates. WB's "Baby Blues" has fared better; six episodes on three Fridays thus far. I don't see "Mission Hill" on their lineup anymore, however. /** ************************************************************************ * ERRATA & OMISSIONS, ADDENDA & ADMISSIONS * *********************************************************************** */ My primary source of television listings, tv.excite.com, has a feature in which a detail screen for one episode of a series lists the next four airings -- sometimes. If the series follows an erratic schedule, some timeslots might be skipped. Hence, I mistakenly reported nonstripped scheduling for the Cartoon Network's anime coverage. What I believe to be a corrected lineup appears below in Upcoming -- I don't bother paying Comcast-who-ate-Suburban for that tier of cable service, so I can't confirm. The malady Lt.Barclay feared he'd contracted (as referenced in 2.20's Masthead Quote) certainly *sounded* like "Tarellian Death Syndrome" (see TNG:Haven) but given the chronic spoonerisms the Trek actors have suffered when pronouncing the name of that race (often confused with the Talarians, see TNG:Suddenly Human), it might've been the Telurian Plague (see TNG:A Matter of Time). There's a lengthy discussion of the issue in Phil Farrand's _Nitpicker's Guide for Next Generation Trekkers_ (1993). A spoonerism is a syllabic transposition (named after a certain Rev.Spooner), as with "Barclay" and "Broccoli" (see TNG:Hollow Pursuits). /** ************************************************************************ * SERIES REVIEW * "Sammy" * Desert Rat and Brad Gray Television, NBC * Tuesdays 20:30, premiered 8-aug-2000 * tc1,2,3 * *********************************************************************** */ The animation style is fairly clean, with a subdued palette. Certain characters are portly but have grossly diminuitive stick-limbs. Noses are only slightly exagerrated. Below, the major characters. Males are [boxed] and females are (circled). [Samuel Blake]==1==(Marie)==2==[Steve LaPeer] | +--[James]............[Agent, Marcus] +--[Gary]===(Emily) (Agent's aide) [Todd]--+ | (Housekeeper, Filar) | Grandkid_1 Grandkid_2 [Wylie] Episode 101, TV-PG, 8-aug-2000 Years ago, cackling ne'er-do-well womanizer Sammy abandoned his wife Marie and their three young sons (James, Gary and Todd), diverting alimony and child support payments into his beloved dune buggy. Later, Gary became an accountant, and Jamie a successful Hollywood star. (Judging from the posters, via a string of masked superhero films.) One of the kids adopted a boy from French Indochina. Jamie's Hispanic housekeeper complains about the meaninglessness of her life. In the "A" plot, Sammy has come to stay at the mansion, and burly-but- slow brother Todd accidentally lets their mother Marie (remarried, to an accountant named Steve LaPeer) know; she rushes from Denver to ensure Sammy doesn't destroy their lives again, and against her better judgement rediscovers how much fun he was -- but is cured when she sees latest bimbo-girlfriend Betsy. In the "B" plot, Steve tries to get to know the boys, but throws out his back while leaning into the handprints outside Mann's Chinese Theater. In the "C" plot, agent Marcus belatedly mentions that a forgotten book deal (_How to Seduce a Supermodel_) is due in the next two days. Jamie, distracted saving mom from dad, sends Marc and his aide off to ghostwrite it, which they do with the help of takout food. The actor's dubious, but the publisher (Art Thermidor) asks "how soon can we get a sequel?" Episode 102, 15-aug-2000 Sammy decides to become a good father. He gives Todd a fish to add to his tropical aquarium (a piranha -- "Oh fish, who ate all my other fish, why did you eat all my other fish?"), misleads Gary into alienating his wife, and tries to hug Jamie. Rebuffed, he heads to Tijuana to "go out in style" and starts eating eggs. The sons follow in a restored purple car and get thrown in prison. Sammy makes a bet with the /polizia/ chief that involves yet more eggs. In the "B" plot there's trouble with the body cast for Jamie's new action figure, so Marc uses his curvaceous aide instead. "Let's just say it'll appeal to a much wider demographic than we'd anticipated." /** ************************************************************************ * BOOK SYNOPSIS * _Star Trek: The Badlands: Book One_ by Susan Wright * _Star Trek: The Badlands: Book Two_ by Susan Wright * Pocket, December 1999 * *********************************************************************** */ _Star Trek: The Badlands_ is a two-book, four-story sequence by Susan Wright, published in December 1999, unnumbered in Pocket's sequence. (It's one of Pocket's many recent bridge-the-generations miniseries, started with _Invasion!_ in 1996.) Her writing style lacks grace, but she's spot-on with her historical hooks; the evidence indicates she's a big DS9 fan, and TNG-era technology leaks backwards to the TOS story. The "Voyager" story is probably the strongest; she parlays a few personal details of Gul Evek's life (from TNG:Journey's End) into a really interesting, tragic character. Part One, The Original Series: 5650.1, 2268, several months after "The Enterprise Incident" The _Enterprise_ has been dispatched to the edge of Federation territory to explore a region of huge plasma storms; Kirk promptly dubs them "the Badlands" after the geologic formations in South Dakota, and a nearby cloud "the Kamiat Nebula." They're soon ordered into the Badlands' sensor shadow, to lie in wait for a Romulan smuggler believed to be carrying technical info on the devastating Romulan plasma mortar (as seen in TOS:Balance of Terror). A small freighter soon appears, pursued by a Romulan warbird with unknown propulsion readings (as it happens, a prototype drive); the ship explodes, the _Enterprise's_ warp drive goes offline, and the crew is soon beset by debilitating and puzzling "multiflux gamma radiation." Commander Teral of the _Barataria_ insists on her innocence, but the Klingon ship _Tr'loth_ soon arrives looking for her. Kirk outwits the Klingons and, in return for asylum, Teral hands over the data. Part Two, The Next Generation: 45091.4, 2368, after "Ensign Ro" A century later, the _Enterprise-D_ is the latest ship to explore the sensor-defying Badlands. Riker and Data enter the storms in a shuttle, which is disabled by a localized subspace incursion. Exiting on the far side, they encounter a Cardassian warship commanded by the wary Gul Ocett (see TNG:The Chase) and the even more suspicious Jos Mengred, agent of the Obsidian Order (Cardassia's secret police). Riker soon falls ill and Data's repeated requests for aid are ignored, but Mengred grows covetous of the android's abilities. They're finally returned to the _Enterprise_, but Admiral Henry (see TNG:The Drumhead) orders Picard to allow Mengred and his aide aboard as observers. The agent is soon spying (using sophisticated implants) and cursing the incompetence of Cardassia's military (referring to a prior group, see TNG:The Wounded). Meanwhile, Doctor Crusher diagnoses Riker's ailment as a Cardassian disease that will force him to stay planetbound. Another subspace shockwave and tetryon radiation burst disables the ship, but the returning Cardassians are unaffected; the increasingly-erratic Riker believes they're testing a subspace-delivered bioweapon (see TNG:Chain of Command) and only some quick diplomacy saves the day. Part Three, Voyager: 48305.8, 2371, prior to and early in "Caretaker" From a concealed planetoid base in the Terikof Belt beyond the Moriya system, Maquis commander Chakotay plans his next raid against the Cardassians; a strike against the Montee Fass shipyard in the Oliv system. Obsidian Order undercover agent Seska notifies her superior, Gul Evek (see TNG:Journey's End), and he concentrates the region's forces to repulse them. En route, Chakotay's force is hit by the "Badlands Curse," five of his six ships being disabled. He reroutes the _Selva_ to the (now undefended) Opek Nor station and destroys it, and is pursued by Evek (aginst Gul Dukat's advice) into the Badlands -- where they vanish in a flash of light. Weeks later, Captain Kathryn Janeway leads the newly-commissioned _Voyager_ in a search for the _Selva_; her convicted Maquis contact, Tom Paris, has trouble working with the crew. Near the Badlands they encounter the crippled _Vetar_, hit by yet another subspace shockwave and forced to eject its warp core. As it happens, Janeway admires the work of renowned soldier-poet Evek. While copying the relevant Maquis- pursuit files for Janeway (he considers spiting Seska by revealing her), he opens a letter from his wife, Lycoris; dismayed by his recent disgraces, she's divorcing him. This is the last tolerable failure and, after a coincidental talk with Paris, he commits suicide. Janeway integrates all known appearances of the Badlands Curse and realizes the culprit is a prototype Romulan artificial quantum singularity (see TNG:Timescape) released a century ago, orbiting the Badlands at warp speed. Part Four, Deep Space Nine: 50502.4, 2373, just prior to the Dominion War With the Maquis finally defeated, Captain Sisko of DS9 is helping clear out their Terikof base. Meanwhile, Odo grieves for the recently- discovered-and-deceased baby changeling that restored his shapeshifting powers (see DS9:The Begotten). With the help of Captain Kassidy Yates, recently released from prison (see DS9:???), he realizes it was injured by tetryon radiation emitted by the Romulan AQS (Janeway's findings have finally emerged from Starfleet's bureaucracy) and petitions Sisko to go capture it, so that no other changeling might be injured. (Instinctively returning home, the infants scattered by the Founders would pass through the area.) Meanwhile, a Romulan mission is likewise afoot to retrieve the AQS --and fire it through the wormhole at the Founder homeworld, to avenge the devastating defeat of a joint Romulan-Cardassian taskforce (see DS9:The Die is Cast). Also meanwhile, Doctor Julian Bashir has been replaced by a Founder spy, and the real Bashir is imprisoned with the Klingon General Martok and Obsidian Order commander Enabran Tain (see DS9:???). Yet elsewhere, Dukat has met with the Vorta Weyoun in the Kamiat Nebula, and is negotiating joining Cardassia to the Dominion (see DS9:???). The _Defiant_ heads towards the Badlands and encounters the _Bokra_, supposedly there to test new impulse configurations. They help repair damage suffered by the Romulans -- and to return the favor, Commander Seylok steals the AQS. Drunk on success and filled with avenging fury, he attacks the Jem'Hadar ships in the Nebula; he loses and the loosed singularity zips off towards populated regions of the Federation. The _Defiant_ manages to catch up and deflect it out of the galaxy. /** ************************************************************************ * UPCOMING * Series, Seasons, Episodes, Movies, Books * *********************************************************************** */ ANIMATION... The CGI series "Roughnecks: Starship Troopers Chronicles" is still in its usual 15:00 timeslot on wgtw-48, but the episodes are no longer being shown in any sort of order. Sony has announced a DVD with the first five-episode arc, Pluto [via roughneckchronicles.com]. Yes, there's anime scattered all over the US TV dial nowadays. Cardcaptors wphl-17-wb z 09:30 Digimon wtxf-29-fox m-f 16:30 Digimon wtxf-29-fox z 08:30 Digimon wtxf-29-fox z 10:30 Dinozaurs wtxf-29-fox f 15:30 Dragonball Z Cartoon Network m-f 16:30 Dragonball Z Cartoon Network m-f 17:00 Dragonball Z Cartoon Network t-z 00:30 Gundam Wing Cartoon Network m-f 17:30 Gundam Wing Cartoon Network m-f 18:00 Gundam Wing Cartoon Network t-z 00:00 Monster Rancher wgtw-48-ind m-f 15:30 Monster Rancher Sci-Fi Channel m-r 07:00 Pokémon wphl-17-wb f 15:00 Pokémon wphl-17-wb m-f 16:00 Sailor Moon wphl-17-wb m-f 06:30 Sailor Moon Cartoon Network m-f 16:00 Tenchi Muyo Cartoon Network m-f 18:00 If you care to disentangle them, the Saturday morning schedules for FoxKids and the KidsWB (respectively) are embedded in the schedules below. Fox hasn't been usefully consistent in its recent roll-outs; two weeks ago saw new episodes of "Beast Machines Transformers" (season two premiere) and "Action Man" (series premiere), last week saw a repeat and new ep, and this week adds two new series premieres (Cyber 6, Escaflowne) -- but it's the *second* episode of the latter, and I can't figure where the first is. Possibly the Friday before (i.e. tomorrow), but tv.excite.com can't confirm that; if true, it would be a really lousy trick by Fox's programmers. Maybe it's just a numbering flub. No, "Cyber 6" is no relation to "Xyber 9". * Dinz Save Dino Ptera 104 fox f 0818-1530 prlr (Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue) fox z 0819-0800 * Cyb6 The Mysterious Shadow 101 fox z 0819-0830 * Digi Enter Flamedramon 201 fox z 0819-0900 * ActM Grey Areas 103 fox z 0819-0930 * TFBM Savage Noble 202 fox z 0819-1000 * Digi The Digiteam Complete 202 fox z 0819-1030 * Esca The Girl From the Mystic Moon 102 fox z 0819-1100 V3D (Voltron: The Third Dimension) wb z 0730 MIB The Bad Doggie Syndrome 312 wb z 0800 MIB The J is for James Syndrome 315 wb z 0819-1030 MIB The Sonic Boom Syndrome 20 wb f 0825-1530 MIB The Baby Kay Syndrome 314 wb z 0826-0800 BmB Where's Terry? 40 wb z 0819-0830 Pok Pokémon Food Fight 302 wb z 0819-0900 CC Double Take 7 wb z 0819-0930 CC The Race 9 wb z 0826-0930 Pok Beauty and the Beach L1 wb z 0819-1000 BmB Ace in the Hole 41 wb z 0819-1100 BmB Rats 22 wb f 0825-1630 BmB Payback 36 wb z 0826-0830 BmB Terry's Friend Dates a Robot 26 wb z 0826-1100 r MxSt Sportsmen 104 wb z 0819-1130 r MxSt Seraphim 105 wb z 0826-1130 And let's all thank BKN for keeping the 26 episodes of "Captain Simian and the Space Monkeys" on a consistent, predictable schedule. CSSM Lawnmower Ape 110 -- 48 s 0820-1130 CSSM Monkey in the Middle 111 -- 48 s 0827-1130 CSSM The Apes of Wrath 112 -- 48 s 0903-1130 CSSM Plan Ape From Outer Space 113 -- 48 s 0910-1130 BmB Batman Beyond, CC Cardcaptors, CSSM Captain Simian and the Space Monkeys, Cyb6 Cyber 6, Digi Digimon, Dinz Dinozaurs, Esca Escaflowne, MIB Men in Black MxSt Max Steel, Pok Pokémon, prlr Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue, TFBM Transformers Beast Machines, V3D Voltron: The Third Dimension. PRIMETIME ETC. PROGRAMMING... mov Patlabor the Mobile Police (1989 105min) 14 plx r 0817-1915 f 0818-0135 r SAM The Elders 106 pg upn f 0818-2100 * Inv It Hurts When You Do This 110 pg sfc f 0818-2000 f 0818-2300 * Fsc Won't Get Fooled Again 215 14 sfc f 0818-2100 z 0819-0000 * Lex Fire & Water 301 -- sfc f 0818-2200 z 0819-0100 * SG1 The First Ones 408 pg sho f 0818-2200 r Dil The Off-Site Meeting 209 pg upn z 0819-1230 FWv Rubicon 217 14 sfc z 0819-1200 r EFC The Fields 318 pg 17 z 0819-1600 s 0827-2330 r SG1 Need 205 pg 29 z 0819-1700 s 0827-0400 Vgr The Swarm 849/--- pg 57 z 0819-1800 z 0819-2300 * BB Rodney Moves In 225051 pg wb z 0819-2000 r BB God Forbid 101 pg wb z 0819-2030 * Inv Separation Anxiety 109 -- 48 z 0819-2000 SI1 A Child Is Born 113 -- 35 z 0819-2200 Who State of Decay, part 1 35 z 0819-2300 Who State of Decay, part 2 35 z 0819-2330 FWv Gladiator 218 14 sfc s 0820-1900 s 0820-2200 r Fut Fear of a Bot Planet 105 pg fox s 0820-1900 r Sim The Mansion Family babf08 pg fox s 0820-2000 r BB Rodney Has Two Daddies 225206 pg wb s 0820-2030 r XF The Goldberg Variation 702 pg fox s 0820-2100 mov Judge Dredd (1995 120min) 14 nbc s 0820-2100 r Lex Fire & Water 301 -- sfc m 0821-0130 r Buf Doomed 411 pg wb t 0822-2000 * Smy Son of Sammy 103 pg nbc t 0822-2030 r Ang Five by Five 118 14 wb t 0822-2100 mov Batman Returns (1992 130min) -- plx t 0822-2100 r 7D Witch Way to the Prom 220 pg upn w 0823-2000 r Vgr Good Shepherd 940/6-- pg upn w 0823-2100 * BB Ugly Zoe 225205 pg wb f 0825-2000 r BB Bizzy Moves In 225056/102 pg wb f 0825-2030 * Inv The Other Invisible Man 111 pg sfc f 0825-2000 f 0825-2300 * The Locket --- pg sfc f 0825-2100 z 0826-0000 * Lex May 302 -- sfc f 0825-2200 z 0826-0100 * SG1 Scorched Earth 409 pg sho f 0825-2200 FWv Gladiator 218 14 sfc z 0826-1200 r EFC Subterfuge 313 pg 17 z 0826-1600 s 0903-2330 Vgr Future's End, Part 1 850/--- pg 57 z 0826-1800 z 0826-2300 * Inv It Hurts When You Do This 110 -- 48 z 0826-2000 Who State of Decay, Part 3 35 z 0826-2300 Who Warrior's Gate, Part 1 35 z 0826-2330 r SG1 Gamekeeper 204 pg 29 s 0827-0400 FWv The Trial of Joshua Bridges 219 14 sfc s 0827-1900 s 0827-2200 r SAM The Face 107 -- upn s 0827-1700 r SG1 Thor's Chariot 206 pg 29 s 0827-1700 r Fut A Fishful of Dollars 106 -- fox s 0827-1900 r Sim Missionary: Impossible babf11 -- fox s 0827-2000 r XF Sein Und Zeit 710 -- fox s 0827-2100 abc wpvi-6, cbs kyw-3, fox wtxf-29, ind wgtw-48, ind wfmz-69, nbc wcau-10, pbs whyy-12, pbs wybe-35, upn wpsg-57, wb wphl-17; plx MoviePlex, sfc Sci-Fi Channel, sho Showtime, tnt is TNT, ton Cartoon Network. 7D 7 Days, Ang Angel, B5 Babylon 5, BB Baby Blues, Buf Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Chm Charmed, Cle Cleopatra 2525, Dil Dilbert, EFC Earth: Final Conflict, Fsc Farscape, Fut Futurama, FWv First Wave, GWg Gundam Wing, Inv The Invisible Man, JAT Jack of All Trades, Lex Lexx, Ros Roswell, SAM Secret Agent Man, SG1 StarGate SG-1, SI1 Space Island One, Sim Simpsons, Smy Sammy, TNG Star Trek: The Next Generation, Vgr Star Trek: Voyager, Who Doctor Who, XF The X-Files. STRIPPED SF... Star Trek: The Next Generation Weeknights (Tue,Thu,Fri) 21:00 1 hour, TV-PG, WFMZ-69 Code of Honor 104 t 0815 Yar embroiled in plot, spiky glove. Haven 105 w 0816 Troi's fiancé elopes with lepers. Where No One Has Gone Before r 0817 Wesley has a warp destiny. The Last Outpost 107 f 0818 Ferengi premiere. Lonely Among Us 108 t 0822 Anticans eat Selay delegates. Justice 109 r 0824 The infamous skimpy-costume ep. The Battle 110 f 0825 Ferengi drives Picard mad. Babylon 5 Weekdays and Saturdays 06:00 1 hour, TV-PG, TNT Conflicts of Interest 412 r 0817 Garibaldi & Edgars, TP plague. Rumors, Bargains and Lies 413 f 0818 LoNAW defense pack, Minbari war. Moments of Transition 414 z 0819 No Surrender, No Retreat 415 m 0821 The Exercise of Vital Powers 416 t 0822 The Face of the Enemy 417 w 0823 Intersections in Real Time 418 r 0824 Between Darkness and the Light f 0825 End Game 420 z 0826 Rising Star 421 m 0828 Deconstruction of Falling Stars t 0829 /** ************************************************************************ * Legalese * Acknowledgments * Opt-in/out Instructions * *********************************************************************** */ The set of creative works herein reviewed and analyzed, including the subset {books, movies, TV shows, toys}, are the property of their respective copyright holders. No infringement or endorsement is expressed, implied or intended. The original reviews and analyses are themselves copyright 2000 by Phillip Thorne. In this issue, certain data have been obtained and aggregated from: Excite tv.excite.com FOXKids Shows foxkids.com/foxkids/shows_F.html Roughneck Chronicles roughneckchronicles.com Star Trek Continuum startrek.com If you're receiving this newsletter, you've probably intentionally subscribed to it. Or possibly you've procrastinated in subscribing and I'm sending it to you anyway. Or maybe you're a family member and I'm demonstrating that I'm still alive. In any case, to cancel your subscription, send an email message to pethorne@earthlink.net with the words "UNSUBSCRIBE NON-SEQUITUR" in the subject line and/or body. Capitalization and punctuation don't matter, since (stupid me) I'm doing this all manually (even the TV listings -- och, what a blockhead). /** ************************************************************************ * ************************************************************************* * The Non-Sequitur Express * http://nsx.underbase.org/ * Volume 2, Issue 21: Thursday, 17 August 2000 * Copyright 1999-2000 Phillip Thorne, pethorne@earthlink.net * ************************************************************************* * *********************************************************************** */