/** ************************************************************************ * ************************************************************************* * The Non-Sequitur Express * "Do we have a Plan B?" * * Published at fortnightly or random intervals by Phillip Thorne * http://www.underbase.org/nsx/ * * Volume 2, Issue 16: Sunday, 25 June 2000 * ************************************************************************* * *********************************************************************** */ OBSERVATIONS & C: _NSX_ archive, the Underbase. MOVIE REVIEW: Titan A.E.: film, milieu, tie-ins. UPCOMING: Animation, primetime. ERRATA & O: Whitespace, B5 blurbs, boo(k)face. plus Legalese, acknowledgements and opt-in/out instructions. /** ************************************************************************ * OBSERVATIONS & COGITATIONS * *********************************************************************** */ It's come to my attention that some of my readers haven't realized there's a web archive for issues of _NSX_. Apparently they don't use mail clients which highlight URL-shaped strings. Look! It's up there in the masthead! And down *there* at the end, with the copyright notices. Since I have your attention on those regions, please note that the archive URL has changed: _The Non-Sequitur Express_ is now at "www.underbase.org/nsx/"; shortly, it will also be at "nsx.underbase.org", which should be even *easier* to remember. (Aah, the benefits of a web hoster that offers free third-level subdomains.) Should you forget, there's a URL-redirect at its former Earthlink location. Ah yes, the Underbase... I've taken the plunge into private domain name ownership. The name is a reference to a massive data repository in issues #47-50 of Marvel's _Transformers_ comic book; I'm using MySQL and PHP4 to port the databases I've collected (as MSAccess dbs and MSExcel spreadsheets) to the web. Today's quote is from "Titan A.E.". /** ***************************************************************** * MOVIE REVIEW * "Titan A.E." * 20th Century Fox (Animation) * "Rated PG for action violence, mild sensuality and brief language." * *************************************************************** */ The Film My zero-spoilers review... There's plenty of action, but also unhurried interludes for the audience to absorb it. The songs are a bit overpowering at times, and bring to mind another animated film that (at times) resembled a music video: "The Transformers: The Movie." There are reversals, surprises, foreshadowing, and callbacks to prior scenes -- and the _Titan's_ great secret is concealed for most of the film. For the few unanswered questions, you can easily generate plausible explanations (unlike holes in some other films). Among the producers is David Kirschner (EFC) -- for what it's worth. The screenplay writers were Ben Edlund (The Tick), John August, and Joss Whedon (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) -- hence the dialogue is usually sharp, sometimes witty. (In the sickbay scene, try replacing Cale's voice with Xander's). There are four wounds that draw blood, one neck-snapping, and one offscreen fatality; plus several near- double-entendres. Vulgarity or profanity: zero. The character designs (except the Drej) are classic Don Bluth (remember the arcade games "Dragon's Lair" (1983) and "Space Ace" (1984)?): highly mobile faces. The aliens all have two expressive eyes; most of them have beaks -- no Horta or Shadows here. Space maneuvering is a combination of aircraft-swoops and newtonian vectors. The film is a combination of CGI and traditional cel animation, mostly for the non-Drej characters -- despite advances by Mainframe and Foundation Imaging, a pencil is still a superior tool for depicting human expression. The two blend quite well; there are only a few moments that evoke "Xyber 9". A few spacecraft are junky when hand-drawn and pristine when rendered. The Milieu Auxiliary materials claim the Drej are a "hyper-evolved race" who wish to conquer the universe. (Why are these High Evolutionaries always either megalomaniacs or recluses?) Evolved beyond the need for matter they may be, hyper-competent they are not, but a more plausible rationale is: they control the galactic real estate market. Watch the film and you'll see why. If you have a pressing need to know the characters' species, height, weight and blood type, just watch the credits; like a minority of other films, we're treated to a non-scrolling-text bonus -- informational, in this case. Ready to write an RPG supplement and need some specifics? According to marginalia in _tRSBtSF_ (see below), the Drej Stingers are 17m long by 15m wide, and the mothership is 7620 meters tall. In contrast, the _Titan_ is "only" 3414m by 1524m. The _Valkyrie_ (a former yacht, now one of the few remaining human-built ships in service) is 213m by 80m, and the _Phoenix_ (a high-speed exploration scout) is 36 by 34. The main characters are Professor Sam Tucker (Ron Perlman), Cale Tucker (Matt Damon), Joseph (?) Korso (formerly of the Earth Human Corps) (Bill Pullman), Akima (no surname given) (Drew Barrymore), Tek (unspecified alien) (Tone-Loc), Preed the Akrennian (Nathan Lane), Stith the Mantrin (Janeane Garofalo), and Gune the Grepoan (John Leguizamo). The Gaoul (not to be confused with the Goa'uld of "StarGate SG-1"). The Tie-Ins In the bookstore kid section, besides _How to Draw Titan A.E._, _The Titan A.E. Storybook_, and _The Titan A.E. Junior Novelization_, there's _The Real Science Behind the Science Fiction_. This last is quite a decent introduction to astronomy, aerospace engineering, space medicine, and the film's other topics, with plenty of mention of cutting-edge research. Kids from 9 to 14 would probably find it interesting. The marginalia match the data given on the website (afterearth.com), which in a few places seem to be contradicted by the stats in the film credits. (E.g. Stith's and Gune's species.) The website (afterearth.com) is one of those misguided excursions into Macromedia Flash -- it's slow to load, there are extraneous animations to convey that futuristic air, the UI conventions don't match the surrounding browser, and the text is un-resizable and illegible. (When will web designers realize that a browser is its *own* interface, and can't be transformed into something else? Controls that would work should they exist on your textured three- dimensional desk just don't work when flattened onto a vertical screen.) There's brief data on the premise, the characters and the makers. The tie-in toyline is by Hasbro, and it's a great disappointment. The execs apparently handed the job to the "Batman" team: great hunks of minimally-articulated plastic, in odd colors, with designs and accessories that never appeared in the film. (That tradition began with certain Kenner "Star Wars" toys back in the '80s -- and Hasbro consumed Kenner. It's like bacteria trading plasmids.) After the intracacy of "Transformers" and versatility of LEGO bricks, nothing else satisfies. We've got "Inferno Battle Drej with Pulsating Battle Light", "Rapid Attack Queen Drej", and "Drej Blastin' Stith"; "Space Walker Suit and Cale", "X2000 Hover Vehicle and Korso", and "Turbo Surge Phoenix and Akima". And a few others, just as bad. The humans are close, but the Drej anatomy is all wrong. What is with today's toy designers (and the marketers and execs directing them)? Does every figure need an accompanying clunky sound-and-light module? A motorcycle-scale vehicle? A version of a capital ship shrunk to the scale of a motorcycle? (It's Cale and the coffin-sized _Valkyrie_! Great, now it activated my memory circuit dedicated to the final scene of 1989's "Earth Girls are Easy".) And those hideous colors... See-through green space suits or orange salvage hoppers were notably absent from the film; but translucent elements are prominent in Hasbro's "Beast Machines" line -- maybe the company bulk-ordered and needed to consume them. /** ************************************************************************ * UPCOMING * Series, Seasons, Episodes, Movies, Books * *********************************************************************** */ "KID-TARGETED" ANIMATION... This is where the "Roughnecks" schedule gets wonky... To my knowledge, ep.133 "Homefront" and ep.138 "The Gates of Hell" (both of the 10-turned-6-episode Earth arc) were never produced, and I'm only guessing that the four clips-with-some-new-footage shows (produced to fill gaps in the production schedule) will be aired in sequence after #137. Remember, the show airs weekdays 15:00 on WGTW-48 (Philadelphia), and Monday to Thursday 07:30 on SFC (cable). RSTC Trackers 71/131 bkn m 0626 RSTC Among Us 72/132 bkn t 0627 RSTC Homefront 73/133 bkn RSTC Hide 'N' Seek 74/134 bkn w 0628 RSTC Requieum 75/135 bkn r 0629 RSTC Funeral For a Friend 76/136 bkn f 0630 RSTC Spirits of the Departed 77/137 bkn m 0703 RSTC The Gates of Hell 78/138 bkn RSTC Pluto and Beyond 141 bkn t 0704 RSTC Propaganda Machine 142 bkn w 0705 RSTC Marooned 143 bkn r 0706 RSTC The Court-martial of Lt. Razak 144 bkn f 0707 Sh22 The Adv' of the Sussex Vampire 111 fox m 0626-1600 TFBW Double Dinobot 114 fox t 0627-1600 TFBW The Spark 115 fox w 0628-1600 TFBM Master of the House 101 fox r 0629-1600 CSSM Yes, We Still Have No Bananas 102 bkn s 0702-1130 CSSM Ape-lien 103 bkn s 0709-1130 CSSM The Monkey Has Landed 104 bkn s 0716-1130 The FoxKids Saturday schedule has digivolved into something new (though as usual, my local newspaper's hardcopy listings didn't notice the change). As of 24-june, the new lineup is as below; "Beast Machines" moves to weekdays as of thu-29-june. Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue 0800 imported sentai NASCAR Racers 0830 cel/CGI Digimon: Digital Monsters 0900 imported anime Flint: Time Detective 0930 imported anime Monster Rancher 1000 imported anime Digimon: Digital Monsters 1030 yet more imported anime Angela Anaconda 1100 (format unclear) Dungeons and Dragons 1130 1980's cel CSSM Captain Simian and the Space Monkeys, RSTC Roughnecks: Starship Troopers Chronicles, Sh22 Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century, TFBM Beast Machines Transformers, TFBW Beast Wars Transformers. Fox wtxf-29, ind wgtw-48 (bkn), sfc Sci-Fi Channel. PRIMETIME ETC... r Ros Blood Brother 1ada07 pg wb m 0626-2100 r Buf Wild at Heart 406 14 wb t 0627-2000 FGy There's Something About Paulie 110 14 fox t 0627-2000 PJs Smokey the Squatter 207 pg fox t 0627-2030 r Dil The Trial 204 pg upn t 0627-2030 r Ang Rm w/a Vu 105 pg wb t 0627-2100 FGy He's Too Sexy for His Fat 210 14 fox t 0627-2100 PJs Weave's Have a Dream 208 pg fox t 0627-2130 r 7D The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea 210 pg upn w 0628-2000 r Chm How to Make a Quilt Out of Am... 4399038 pg wb r 0629-2000 mov V:The Final Battle (95min) 101 -- plx r 0629-2100 mov V:The Final Battle (95min) 102 -- plx r 0629-2235 * Cold Lazarus 103 -- 12 r 0629-2200 * Cold Lazarus 104 -- 12 r 0629-2300 mov V:The Final Battle (95min) 103 -- plx f 0630-0010 r SAM WhupSum... 103 pg upn f 0630-2100 (Normal Friday SFC lineup absent) f 0630 r EFC Deja Vu 304 pg 17 z 0701-1600 r SG1 Show and Tell 220 pg 29 z 0701-1700 s 0709-0400 * Inv The Catevari 102 -- 48 z 0701-2000 SI1 (unknown) 35 z 0701-2200 Who (unknown) 35 z 0701-2300 Who (unknown) 35 z 0701-2330 r Cle Trial and Error 1212 -- 17 s 0702-0200 r JAT Dead Woman Walking 1312 -- 17 s 0702-0230 r Fut Lesser of Two Evils 206 -- fox s 0702-1900 r Sim Treehouse of Horror X 1020 -- fox s 0702-2000 r XF Signs and Wonders 709 -- fox s 0702-2100 Dil Dilbert, FGy Family Guy, Fut Futurama, PJs The PJs, Sim The Simpsons; Ang Angel, 7D 7 Days, Buf Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Chm Charmed, Cle Cleopatra 2525, EFC Earth: Final Conflict, FSc Farscape, Inv Invisible Man, JAT Jack of All Trades, Ros Roswell, SAM Secret Agent Man, SG1 StarGate SG-1, SI1 Space Island One, Who Doctor Who, XF The X-Files. Cbs kyw-3, abc wpvi-6, nbc wcau-10, pbs whyy-12, wb wphl-17, fox wtxf-29, pbs wybe-35, ind wgtw-48, upn wpsg-57, ind wfmz-69, plx MOVIEPlex, sfc Sci-Fi Channel, tnt TNT. /** ************************************************************************ * ERRATA & OMISSIONS * *********************************************************************** */ The mail client I use to transit _NSX_ consumes certain forms of whitespace when it begins a line -- hence the section banners, shaped into Java-style programming comments, don't line up correctly. In 2.14 I added listings for the stripped series TNG and B5 to VGR, but I didn't include episode blurbs for B5; I was in a hurry. In 2.14's Contents, I referred to "bookface.com" as "booface.com". Yes, and Count Chocula and Frankenberry have started selling auto insurance online. /** ************************************************************************ * Legalese * Acknowledgments * Opt-in/out Instructions * *********************************************************************** */ The set of creative works herein reviewed and analyzed, including the subset {books, movies, TV shows, toys}, are the property of their respective copyright holders. No infringement or endorsement is expressed, implied or intended. The original reviews and analyses are themselves copyright 2000 by Phillip Thorne. For this issue, certain data have been obtained and/or aggregated from: Excite tv.excite.com FOXKids Shows foxkids.com/foxkids/shows_F.html The Internet Movie Database imdb.com If you're receiving this newsletter, you've probably intentionally subscribed to it. Or possibly you've procrastinated in subscribing and I'm sending it to you anyway. Or maybe you're a family member and I'm demonstrating that I'm still alive. In any case, to cancel your subscription, send an email message to pethorne@earthlink.net with the words "UNSUBSCRIBE NON-SEQUITUR" in the subject line and/or body. Capitalization and punctuation don't matter, since I'm doing this all manually. /** ************************************************************************ * ************************************************************************* * The Non-Sequitur Express * http://www.underbase.org/nsx/ * Volume 2, Issue 16: Sunday, 25 June 2000 * Copyright 1999-2000 Phillip Thorne, pethorne@earthlink.net * ************************************************************************* * *********************************************************************** */