/** ***************************************************************** * ****************************************************************** * The Non-Sequitur Express * (This space intentionally left partially blank) * Published at entirely random intervals by Phillip Thorne * http://home.earthlink.net/~pethorne/Reviewer/NonSeqExp/ * * Volume 2, Issue 5: Monday, 28 February 2000 * ****************************************************************** * *************************************************************** */ In this issue: OBSERVATIONS: SF jumpers, title, listings, ratings. UPCOMING: Org, Heads Up, Animation, Primetime, Voyager. ANALYSIS: Historical validity of "JoAT". ERRATA: Delays and missed announcements. plus Legalese, acknowledgements and opt-in/out instructions. /** ***************************************************************** * OBSERVATIONS * *************************************************************** */ 1. To my knowledge, very few written SF/fantasy worlds (stories, novels, comics) have made it to the big screen -- or to the little one, which from a financial standpoint isn't much easier in said genre. Conventional wisdom holds that the groundbreaking effects in 1977's "Star Wars" forever soured TV audiences on shoestring SFX; thus the movie-quality production values on 1987's "Star Trek: The Next Generation," which reigned mostly unmatched until a new crop of TV SF in 1993. An entirely unscientific poll of my own memory (augmented by data from the IMDb) produced a list that was much longer than I'd originally anticipated (one paragraph ago), and moreover I haven't found a convenient source of publishing dates for the source works. It'll probably appear in a later edition of _NSX_ since, hey, I'm putting a lot of work into it. 2. My brain is ringing with the unsettled feeling that _NSX_, my abbreviation for _Non-Sequitur Express_, has already been claimed, possibly by something Nintendo-related. 3. If you're wondering, no, I don't watch all the series listed in the Upcoming section. I didn't follow them all during my hiatus-of- jobsearch-futility (which recently ended -- I am again a money-earning member of society), and I certainly can't view them all now (even condensed via VCR). I don't even have a clear notion of the premise of NBC's "The Others," but I suspect it's paranormal/horror, not even "The X-Files" paranormal/SF/horror, so I'll be dropping it. Hardcopy newspaper listings are good only for overview, and distilling online TV listings is tedious over a 31.2kbps connection, so I'm searching for a more effective site than tv.excite.com (expect a report on *that*, too) and a faster formatting mechanism than manual key-entry; possibly some MSExcel/VBA automation... ...Or perhaps I can link to my MSAccess database of TV episodes. I commenced collecting titles to answer questions like: "how many times have 'Enemy Within' or 'XYZ Squared' been used," but I now have details on 5500 episodes from 100 SF, fantasy and animated series. Think of it as a special-purpose, finer-grained IMDb. It's a naked pile of tables, no query frontends at all -- but I can put it online if anyone's interested. 4. Yet *another* feature-in-progress is a compare-and-contrast of content ratings tags: the MPAA's PG and TV-Y7, Canada's equivalent, RSAC and ESRB for online content, and so forth. If anybody has a convenient URL explaining the expanded tags on cable movies, I'd appreciate it -- most of the indexed 'net literature is copies of the original 1997 FCC V-chip doc. /** ***************************************************************** * UPCOMING * Series, Seasons, Episodes * *************************************************************** */ Organization: Many primetime firstrun series have a standard repeat pattern, usually a week later. Until now I've indicated those in the listing, but I'm going to experiment with omitting them. The patterns are as follows; the symbology "w-1-2100, z-4-1900" means the first showing is Wednesday at 21:00, and the repeat is on the following Saturday (3 days later) at 19:00. Vgr Star Trek: Voyager w-1-2100 z-4-1900 upn SG1 StarGate SG-1 z-1-1700 s-9-0400 29 (fox) EFC Earth: Final Conflict z-1-1600 s-9-2300 17 (wb) Cle Cleopatra 2525 z-1-2000 z-8-1300 17 (wb) JAT Jack of All Trades z-1-2030 z-8-1330 17 (wb) Heads up: Sat-26-feb-0930 : A new CGI series, "Max Steel," premieres on the KidsWB. Sun-27-feb-2100 : Part 1 Mon-28-feb-2000 : Part 2 Wed-01-mar-2000 : Part 3 of NBC's "The 10th Kingdom," a 3-part, 6-hour fantasy/fairy tale miniseries. Expect more of whatever was done in "Gulliver's Travels," "Merlin," etc., which I didn't really watch. Mon-28-feb-2000 : UPN is showing "Caretaker, part 1" again in it's "Voyager" strip. No more jumping around the seasons, it seems. Tue-07-mar-2000 : "Secret Agent Man" premieres on UPN. Tue-07-mar-2030 : "Family Guy" is back on Fox (again), ep 201. Upcoming Non-Primetime Animated TV: * RSTC Betrayal 31/111 m 0228 3 RSTC Propaganda Machine 142 t 0229 2 RSTC The Face of Truth 35/115 w 0301 2 RSTC Betrayal 31/111 r 0302 * RSTC Among Us 72/132 f 0303 * RSTC Requiem 75/135 m 0307 2 RSTC Metamorphosis 61/126 t 0308 2 RSTC D-Day 62/127 w 0309 * RSTC Spirits of the Departed 82/137 r 0310 * RSTC Trackers 71/131 f 0311 4 RSTC Propaganda Machine 142 m 0313 * RSTC Hide 'N' Seek 74/134 t 0314 2 RSTC Letters Home 64/129 w 0315 * RSTC Checkmate 71/130 r 0316 * RSTC The Ice Men Goeth 55/125 f 0317 * RSTC Clip Show #4 144 m 0320 3 RSTC Ice-Olation 51/121 t 0321 2 RSTC Mixed Signals 52/122 w 0322 3 RSTC The Inside Story 54/124 r 0323 3 RSTC Metamorphosis 61/126 f 0324 3 RSTC Captured 34/114 m 0327 3 RSTC The Face of Truth 35/115 t 0328 3 RSTC Betrayal 31/111 w 0329 * RSTC Funeral For a Friend 81/136 r 0330 3 RSTC D-Day 62/127 f 0331 CSSM Monkey in the Middle 111 s 0227-1130 48 CSSM The Apes of Wrath 112 s 0305-1130 48 CSSM Plan Ape From Outer Space 113 s 0312-1130 48 Upcoming Primetime (etc.) TV: * Fut Raging Bender 208 s 0227-1900 fox * Sim Pygmoelian 1112 s 0227-2000 fox * XF First Person Shooter 713 s 0227-2100 fox Robot Wars s 0227-2330 12 r EFC Sanctuary 315 s 0227-2330 17 * Buf Who Are You 416 t 0229-2000 wb * Ang The Ring 116 t 0229-2100 wb Dil (Pr'emp'd by NHL) t 0229 * 7D Space Station Down 215 w 0301-2000 upn * Ros Sexual Healing 115 w 0301-2100 wb Robot Wars r 0302-2300 12 Robot Wars r 0302-2330 12 r N+A A Girl's Life 107 f 0303-2100 cbs B5 The Ragged Edge 513 z 0219-0700 tnt BCJ Hard Rock 119 z 0212-1000 tnt Robot Wars z 0304-0945 12 Robot Wars z 0304-1015 12 * EFC Time Bomb 317 z 0304-1600 17 SG1 Message in a Bottle 207 z 0304-1600 29 Cle (Pre'mp'd) z 0304 JAT (Pre'mp'd) z 0304 Robot Wars z 0304-2300 12 Robot Wars z 0304-2335 12 Robot Wars s 0305-0010 12 Robot Wars s 0305-0040 12 Robot Wars s 0305-0115 12 r SG1 Serpent's Song 218 s 0305-0400 29 3 Sim Brother's Little Helper 11-- s 0305-1900 fox r Sim Pygmoelian 1112 s 0305-2000 fox Robot Wars s 0305-2240 12 Robot Wars s 0305-2315 12 r EFC Through Your Eyes 316 s 0305-2330 17 r Buf Wild at Heart 406 t 0307-2000 wb * FGy Brian in Love 201 t 0307-2030 fox * SAM From Prima With Love 101 t 0307-2000 upn 3 Ang City Of 101 t 0307-2100 wb r Ros 285 South 105 w 0308-2100 wb Upcoming episodes of STAR TREK VOYAGER: * Spirit Folk 616 w 0223-2100 New. Caretaker, part 1 101 m 0228-1900 VGR hijacked to Delta Quad. Caretaker, part 2 102 t 0229-1900 Blast way home, anger Kazon. Parallax 103 w 0301-1900 Stuck in mirrored anomaly. * Ashes to Ashes 617 w 0301-2100 New. Time and Again 104 r 0302-1900 Polaron power: bad for time. Phage 105 f 0303-1900 They stole Neelix's lungs! r Ashes to Ashes 617 z 0304-1900 Ibid. The Cloud 106 m 0306-1900 Mining, injure energy cloud. Eye of the Needle 107 t 0307-1900 Meet Romulan via tiny hole. Ex Post Facto 108 w 0308-1900 Convicted Tom, relive murder. /** ***************************************************************** * ANALYSIS * A partial historical analysis of anachronistic allusions in * the first three aired episodes of "Jack of All Trades" * *************************************************************** */ Like Renaissance's "Hercules" and "Xena" before it, "Jack of All Trades" glories in dubious historical allusions. I don't know if the writers are ignorant of the finer details of history or simply disregard them as inconvenient, but its 1801 setting propels many lines straight into the realm of incorrigible anachronisms. If cigarette packs come with a Surgeon General's warning, the episodes of this show should be emblazoned with cautionary notices from the U.S. Department of Education. (Following information obtained from Microsoft Encarta 98.) Opening Credits "From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli": verse from the U.S. Marine Corps Hymn. Montezuma II (1480?-1520) ruled the Aztec empire from the city of Tenochtitlán, razed by Spanish conquistador Hernán Cortés, now Mexico City. The first phrase refers to the Mexican War (1846-48) which started the U.S. on its rise as a global military power. The second refers to the Tripolitan War (1801-5) against the Muslim corsairs of North Africa, a conflict ignited by the U.S. refusal of an 1801 increase in tribute by the pasha of Tripoli (hence Jefferson's defiant "millions for defense, but not one cent for tribute"). 1301 "Return of the Dragoon" Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826): 3rd president of the United States (1801-1809). Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821): 2nd of 8 children of Carlo Buonaparte, Corsican-Italian gentry and lawyer. George Washington (1732-1799): 1st president of the United States (1789-1797). Jefferson's threat that, should Jack touch his niece, he'd have Washington "chop down his cherry tree" was therefore two years late. Marshmallow: /Althaea officinalis/, a meter-tall, leafy, perennial plant native to eastern Europe. Its roots were once used to make a creamy confection, now produced artificially from sugar and gelatin. 1304 "Sex and the Single Spy" Croquet: lawn game based on "pall mall" played in England in the 1600s and a similar contemporary French game, introduced to United States in mid-1860s; name derives from French "crochet" meaning "hook." 1309 "The Floundering Father" Submarine boat: First success, a 12-rower leather-encased wooden rowboat built in England by Dutch inventor Cornelis Van Drebbel (c.1620). Second, American patriot David Bushnell's _Turtle_, an egg-shaped one-man vehicle equipped with ballast tank and hand-cranked propellers; was used in an attempt to attach a clockwork mine to a British warship during the American Revolution (c.1776). Third, American inventor Robert Fulton's _Nautilus_, a 6.4-m vehicle that introduced vertical and horizontal rudders and a supply of compressed breathable air (1800). Fourth, four submersible vessels built by the CSA during the American Civil War, including the hand-cranked _Hunley_ (1864). Blackbeard the Pirate: Edward Teach (1680?-1718), English pirate, probably born in Bristol, England, noted for his braided beard. Zone of activity: West Indies, North Carolina, Virginia colonies. Killed in engagement near Ocracoke Inlet (North Carolina) with two ships dispatched by governor of Virginia. Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790): 10th son and 15th child (of 17) of tallow chandler Josiah Franklin. Experimented with Leyden jar (a primitive battery), then performed lightning-electricity experiment in 1752. [It's therefore unlikely that Jack was around to hold the string, as he claimed in a later episode.] Worked as printer in London 1724-26, representative of Colonies in England 1757-62, operated in France 1778-85. White House: official residence of the United States President (starting with John Adams). Cornerstone laid 13 October 1792, completed 1800, razed in 1814 by British troops, renovated several times since. Also known as the President's Palace, the President's House, and the Executive Mansion; designation "White House" made official in 1901 by Theodore Roosevelt. "Flusher" -> flush toilet: indoors receptacle for disposal of human bodily waste via flowing water. Suspected first example, Minoan palace on island of Crete (2000 BC). Development stalled until version produced by Sir John Harrington for Queen Elizabeth I (1596), enhanced with odor-blocking water trap by English watchmaker Alexander Cummings (1775), and again by others (notably English plumber Thomas Crapper) in late 1800s. "A shot of penicillin" for Blackbeard's upset: Penicillin, any of a group of antiobiotics originally derived from the /Penicillium/ fungus, action first observed 1928 by British bacteriologist Sir Alexander Fleming, concentrated as a drug in the late 1930s by British biochemist Ernst Chain et al. /** ***************************************************************** * ERRATA * *************************************************************** */ One, I haven't published an issue of _NSX_ for over two weeks. Bad Phil! Stop procrastinating! Two, the episode of "Deep Space Nine" on 0219-1500 was not 524 "Empok Nor" as listed in tv.excite.com, but rather 702 "Shadows and Symbols." (Dang, and 524 is an ep I haven't seen.) "Roughnecks" on 0223 wasn't 71/131 "Trackers", but rather 31/116 "No Substitute." Three, I completely missed "Kiki's Delivery Service" on 0224-2210 on the Disney Channel. Some years ago, WaltDisneyCo purchased the U.S. rights to the output of Studio Ghibli, the Japanese animation studio associated with Hayao Miyazaki, "the Walt Disney of Japan." ("Mononoke Hime" had its U.S. limited theatrical release a few months ago.) It's a touching story of young witch who goes out into the world of the muggles (oops, Harry Potter reference) to make her fortune. That, and an errant dirigible. Four, I missed announcing the premiere of (a) "Max Steel" on the KidsWB this Saturday, 0226-0930. It's another CGI series (maybe by Foundation Imaging; I'm not sure). I taped it myself, though; expect a review in a later issue. And (b), what appeared to be the syndication premiere of Showtime's "Total Recall 2070" on NBC, sat-0226-1330. /** ***************************************************************** * Legalese * Acknowledgments * Opt-in/out Instructions * *************************************************************** */ All books, movies, television shows, toys and other creative works reviewed or analyzed herein are the property of their respective copyright holders. No infringement is expressed, implied or intended. The original reviews and analyses are themselves copyright 1999 by Phillip Thorne. Certain data may have been obtained from aint-it-cool-news.com, foxkids.com, roughneckchronicles.com, tv.excite.com, upcomingmovies.com, and/or other sites and hardcopy periodicals. LAWYERS READ THIS --> The enclosed content and opinions are my own. No connection, endorsement or relation with SmithKline Beecham Pharmaceuticals (through whose email system this message is travelling) is implied in either direction. But it's very nice nonetheless that SB lets me transmit this non-work-related message, and I promise I won't do it very often. <-- LAWYERS READ THIS To stop subscribing, send an email message to pethorne@earthlink.net with the words "UNSUBSCRIBE NON-SEQUITUR" in the subject line and/or body. Capitalization and punctuation don't matter. /** ***************************************************************** * ****************************************************************** * The Non-Sequitur Express * http://home.earthlink.net/~pethorne/Reviewer/NonSeqExp/ * Volume 2, Issue 5: Monday, 28 February 2000 * Copyright 2000 Phillip Thorne, pethorne@earthlink.net * ****************************************************************** * *************************************************************** */