/** ***************************************************************** * ****************************************************************** * The Non-Sequitur Express * "It's a BOOK!" * Published weekly, or at other random intervals, by Phillip Thorne * http://home.earthlink.net/~pethorne/Reviewer/NonSeqExp/ * * Volume 1, Issue 10: Wednesday 15 December 1999 * ****************************************************************** * *************************************************************** */ In this issue: UPCOMING: Heads Up, Animation, Primetime, Voyager. BOOK SYNOPSIS: James Morrow's _Towing Jehovah_. MOVIE SYNOPSIS: Phantom 2040 ERRATA: TV scheduling snafus. plus Legalese, acknowledgements and opt-in/out instructions /** ***************************************************************** * UPCOMING * Series, Seasons, Episodes, Movies * *************************************************************** */ Heads up: Thursday 16-dec and Friday 17-dec at 15:30 and Saturday 18-dec at 08:00, FoxKids is airing the three-part season finale of "Power Rangers: Lost Galaxy." Yay! That giant Tokyo-model-in-a-snowglobe, that unprecedented out-of-continuity symbol of terran orbital engineering, the _Terra Venture_, finally bites it! It's pledge drive season again at PBS WHYY-12, and the timing of "Red Dwarf" is therefore irregular. My sources don't agree, but "Cassandra" and "Krytie TV" could be starting at 23:15 or 23:25 instead of the usual 23:30. It looks like roughneckchronicles.com finally obtained an episode guide that, at least for 14- and 15-dec, is actually congruent with the aired eps (RSST). For "Captain Simian and the Space Monkeys" (CSSM), I'm assuming BKN/WGBH-48 will adhere to the proper airing order; they've did so for at least two cycles prior to "Roswell Conspiracies" this fall. On Sunday 26-dec 20:30, a new episode of "Family Guy" (FGy) replaces "Futurama" (Fut) in Fox's lineup. Upcoming Animated: CSSM Ape-pocalypse... A Little Later! 126 s 1212-1130 48 SH22 ...Empty House 105 m 1213-1600 fox TFBW Gorilla Warfare 110 t 1214-1600 fox TFBW A Better Mousetrap 109 w 1215-1600 fox TFBW Victory 112 r 1216-1600 fox TFBW Dark Designs 113 f 1217-1600 fox RSST Marauder 43/118 m 1213 RSST Search and Destroy 23/108 t 1214 RSST Sole Survivor 25/110 w 1215 RSST Of Flesh and Steel 33/113 r 1216 * RSST Liquid Dreams 44/119 f 1217 ? Gdz Lizard Season 2-- z 1218-0930 fox * TFBM TOW part 3, End of the Line 113 z 1218-1100 fox * Avg To Rule Atlantis 107 z 1218-1130 fox CSSM Yes, We Have No Bananas 101 s 1219-1130 48 RSST Hot Ice 53/123 m 1220 RSST ...And Then There Were Two 42/117 t 1221 RSST Marauder 43/118 w 1222 * RSST Ice-Olation 51/121 r 1223 RSST No Substitute 41/116 f 1224 CSSM Yes, We Still Have No Bananas 102 s 1226-1130 48 RSST Sole Survivor 25/110 m 1227 7 RSST Ice-Olation 51/121 t 1228 RSST ...And Then There Were Two 42/117 w 1229 RSST Marauder 43/118 r 1230 RSST Search and Destroy 23/108 f 1231 Upcoming Primetime TV: * 7D Love and Other Disasters 209 w 1215-2000 upn * N+A I've Grown Accustomed to His Face 110 f 1217-2100 cbs 2 EFC Crackdown 301 z 1218-1600 17 SG1 (Pre-empted by NFL) --- z SG1 In the Line of Duty 202 s 1219-0400 29 * Sim Grift of the Magi 1107 s 1219-2000 fox * Fut Xmas Story 204 s 1219-2030 fox XF How the Ghosts Stole Christmas 608 s 1219-2100 fox RD Krytie TV 805 s 1219-2315 12 r EFC Cloister 310 s 1219-2330 17 2 Buf Living Conditions 402 t 1221-2000 wb Dil Y2K 110 t 1221-2030 upn 2 Ang I Fall to Pieces 104 t 1221-2100 wb 2 7D The Football 201 w 1222-2000 upn N+A (Pre-empted by Xmas special) --- f 2 EFC The Vanished 302 z 1225-1600 17 2 SG1 Gatekeeper 204 z 1225-1700 29 Sim Guess Who's Coming to Dinner 1021 s 1226-2000 fox * FGy DaBoom ??? s 1226-2030 fox XF Monday 615 s 1226-2100 fox RD (No episode) --- s EFC Crackdown 301 s 1226-2330 Upcoming episodes of STAR TREK VOYAGER: Faces 114 m 1213-1900 Vidiians split Torres in two. Jetrel 115 t 1214-1900 Unkill Neelix's planet's pop? Learning Curve 116 w 1215-1900 Tuvok trains Maquis. Warhead 525 w 1215-2100 Alien missile hijacks Doc. Projections 203 r 1216-1900 Doc crazy for first time. Twisted 119 f 1217-1900 Spatial anomaly pretzels ship. r Warhead 525 z 1218-1830 Ibid. Initiations 202 m 1220-1900 Chakotay downed by Kazon kid. Parturition 207 t 1221-1900 Neelix, Paris- Kes? Alien egg! Tattoo 209 w 1222-1900 Meet Amerinds, Chakotay angst. 11:59 522 w 1222-2100 Janeway's 1999 ancestor. (Basketball) --- r 1223-1900 --- Maneuvers 211 f 1224-1900 Chakotay stop Seska Kazon! /** ***************************************************************** * BOOK SYNOPSIS * _Towing Jehovah_ * James Morrow, 1994 * *************************************************************** */ The dust jacket calls Morrow "one of today's foremost satirists" -- good thing, too, otherwise his literary deicide might be considered by some circles as bad taste. To begin... God has died, and His body has fallen into the sea. The angels, rapidly expiring from terminal empathy, recruit human forces to tow the Divine Corpse from the equatorial Atlantic to the tomb they've carved in a Finnnish iceberg. The Vatican: Canadian pope INNOCENT XIV, Secretary of Extraordinary Ecclesiastical Affairs TULLIO CARDINAL DiLUCA, and Father THOMAS WICKLIFF OCKHAM, Jesuit professor of cosmology and particle physics at Fordham University in the Bronx. The ship: the 1200-foot _SS Carpco Valparaíso_, the most powerful oil tanker ever built, recently recomissioned after a disastrous Texas spill. Its captain: 50-year-old ANTHONY VAN HORNE, disgraced and blacklisted skipper, the Butcher of Matagorda Bay, tormented by accusing visions of crude-slicked seabirds. The Vatican computer predicts that God may still be capable of rescusitation, and Van Horne makes a personal commitment to freeze the corpse before the deadline. The _Valparaíso_ sets course with Ockham, charged by the angel Gabriel with determining the cause of death; his friend, Carmelite nun SISTER MIRRIAM; a hastily-recruited crew of able seamen and -women; and a cover story of Vatican complicity in recovering a coagulated oil slick. On the way to 0°lat-0°long, Van Horne rescues shipwrecked 41-year-old CASSIE FOWLER: rationalist, feminist, underappreciated playwright, and member of the Central Park West Enlightenment League. When they finally encounter the /corpus dei/ -- two miles long, fully human and male, and without a scratch -- Cassie immediately realizes the threat it poses: fundamentalist and patriarchial forces would use it to reverse all the gains made by rationalists and feminists. She convinces the female radio operator to send a coded message to her boyfriend, OLIVER SHOSTAK, chairman of the League, dilettante artist and heir to a condom fortune. The League quickly makes plans to neutralize the threat, hiring Pembroke and Flume's World War Two Reenactment Society to stage a recreation of the Battle of Midway, with the corpse standing in for the carrier _Akagi_. The cover story: it's a Japanese genetic-engineering project, a golem designed to compensate for Asian height inferiority. Back in the Atlantic, the _Valparaíso_ attaches its retrofitted tow chains to the Corpse's ear bones and makes way. Extended exposure to the body -- the Idea of the Corpse, Ockham dubs it --and the stress of killing scavenging wildlife, begins to erode the moral bulwarks of the crew. "No one is watching," the feeling goes; and even Ockham and Mirriam find themselves dancing naked in God's navel. When the ship strands itself on a suddenly-resurfaced uncharted island (the body acting as a chaotic attractor), the bulk of the crew deserts to engage in a bacchanalian orgy of bloodsports, gluttony and lust amid the godless sculpture of the once-drowned city. Ockham, Van Horne and his genius cook defeat starvation and bring back the prodigal crew with food made from the Divine body -- a drastic contingency the Jesuit is desperate to rationalize. They dig the ship out and exit the radio-blocking storm around the island, to receive panicked Vatican communiqués. The plan has changed, they're told; it's too late to save God's brain, so a second supertanker has been filled with formaldehyde to preserve it. Van Horne isn't about to abandon his mission, however, and the race to the Arctic is on. Pembroke and Flume et al are waiting, though, with the _Enterprise_ icing over and Shostak forced to pay for faux-USO entertainments. When the _Valparaíso_ finally arrives, they attack with TBD-1 Devastator torpedo planes and SBD-2 Dauntless dive bombers. When the "golem" fails to sink, they turn their sights on the tanker itself -- oblivious to Shostak's pleas that this is no longer a game and *his girlfriend is on that ship!* No, it's not a game -- because DiLuca steams over the horizon with the heavily-armed Persian Gulf tanker _Maracaibo_, Van Horne's estranged father CHRISTOPHER VAN HORNE at the helm. Nonetheless inflamed that *his* son is being attacked, he opens fire on the planes, heedless of the body; *he's* been told it's a prop for a pornographic movie. DiLuca's real mission is to *burn* the /corpus dei/; news of its existence could destroy society, as the _Valparaíso_ mutiny evidenced. People die. Ships sink. Van Horne transfers his flag, almost manages to make peace with his father (as promised by the angel RAPHAEL, back in New York), and completes his mission. When they encounter the dying angel MICHAEL, Ockham receives a last datum: God never *asked* to be buried. The Jesuit figures He *meant* his corpse to be seen; the ultimate duty of a father is to step aside for his children. Then Van Horne and Fowler get married, sell his logbook as a work of fiction, and have a kid. Then the sequel happens. /** ***************************************************************** * MOVIE SYNOPSIS * "Phantom 2040: The Animated Movie" * 1994 Hearst Entertainment Inc. * *************************************************************** */ "Phantom 2040: The Animated Movie" is a compilation of the first five episodes of the 1994-96 animated series created by Judith and Garfield Reeves-Stevens, based on the comic character created by Lee Falk. The pair lay credit to numerous "Star Trek" behind-the-scenes books and novels (including the highly regarded and tech-heavy _Prime Directive_ and _Federation_), 1996's animated "Flash Gordon" series, and scripts for the upcoming "Dragonriders of Pern" TV series. The series charts in own course in both style and substance. Character design resembles "Aeon Flux;" humans are lanky, acromegalic, prone to grimaces that show a lot of gum. Mechanical and architectural designs share the curved, elongated aesthetic, with odd color schemes; the green-tinted, egg-faced biots; the VTOL vehicles driven by multiple vertical-thrust fans; the yellow armor of the city's S.W.A.T.-like Enforcers. Artificial hearts are used while replacements are force-cloned in vats; homes have "concierge" programs and computers are "analytics;" specialized products are imported from the orbital platforms, whose oddly-garbed leaders seek independence. The premise... KIT WALKER (Scott Valentine) is a perfectly ordinary 18-year-old in the citystate of Metropia in the year 2040, except for his fascination with near-extinct tropical jungles. To his great surprise, he discovers it's a family trait -- he's destinied to be the 24th in the unbroken line of masked, purple-clad protectors of the jungle; father-to-son, each taking on the identity in turn: the Phantom, the Ghost Who Walks, the Immortal, the Grey Ghost. Only... for Kit, the jungle is the entire world. After the Resource Wars, MAXWELL MADISON and his company, MAXIMUM INC., rebuilt New York City as METROPIA. He wasn't content with dominating the market for BIOTS, however; he schemed to inaugurate the MAXIMUM ERA in which Earth's ecosystem would be restructured to suit only humans. That timetable went on hold with Madison's death on 20 July 2024, when his body was found in the East River, a scrap of purple fabric clutched in its hand. At the same time Kit's father, the 23rd Phantom, vanished. For 16 years the Maximum Era has been delayed, but Madison's widow, current CEO REBECCA MADISON (Margot Kidder), is ready to begin construction of CYBERVILLE, base for a private biot army and refuge during the upheavals of the Era's premiere -- though to gain approval from Metropia's city council, she bills it as a taxable staging area for the city's biot workforce. They're proving intractable, however, and she hatches several plans to sway their votes. Rebecca's reluctant allies are GRAFT (Ron Perlman), a cyborg (apparently thanks to her late husband's skills) who can plug his torso into a variety of specialized battle mecha, and whose loyalty she insures through implanted pain inducers; and her son MAXWELL MADISON JR. (Jeff Bennet). 19-year-old Maxwell is the very definition of listless languor; assisting only when it gains some momentary amusement, and projecting his wishes through his cat, BEAUDELAIRE. Maxwell's apathetic about the Era, is almost gleeful when Rebecca's plans are stymied; he goes so far as to spill the beans to the Phantom. He's frankly scornful of Rebecca's attempts to revive Madison Sr. via memory traces extracted from his dead brain. His great-aunt HELOISE (Carrie Snodgress) actively concealed the truth from Kit after his father's disappearance, hoping he could live a normal life. Nonetheless, he's rudely awakened to his destiny by GURAN (J.D.Hall), friend to his father and emissary from Unified Africa (a union the 23rd Phantom helped create), and is reluctant to adopt the role, doing so only to protect his friends and ... Maximum's plots to tarnish the Phantom's image. He gains allies, including wizened JACK ARCHER (Alan Oppenheimer), a 60-something professor at his school, and orphan TRANH (Dustin Nguyen) a "skater" on the world's ICE (integrated cyber-environments). They operate from a biot-built base inside Grand Central Station, abandoned decades earlier due to a toxic spill, cleansed by a mutant strain of ghostwood tree. Though Guran himself is uncomfortable with high tech, he shows Kit how his new gear works: the costume with its digital camoflage to simulate street clothes, blend into the background or fuzz electronic imagers; the self-guided induction ropes in the gauntlets, that impart the agility of Spider-man; the twin blasters that leap to hand at a single thought. And then, the undecideds... OFFICER SAGAN CRUZ (Leah Remini) of the Metropia Enforcers who isn't sure about this purple vigilante but is attracted to Kit; her partner, D.V.L., a genetically-engineered "smart dog" whose nose knows they're one and the same; MISTER CAIRO (Paul Williams), a dealer in information who appears at will via the city's ubiquitous holoprojectors; and DOCTOR JAK (Mark Hamill), a cyborg tabloid shock-jock who's not above slanting the Phantom story for ratings, and whose motto is "if I didn't see it, it didn't happen." The plot... When Metropia's city council refuses Rebecca Madison's request to build Cyberville, she unleashes a civil riot; players of the "Battle Zone" hologame have been conditioned to respond to her commands. At the same time, Guran returns to recruit Kit to her destiny, and she orders Graft to dispatch biots to eliminate him; Aunt Heloise is injured. Kit's friends are involved in the riot, but he's unaffected since he's never risen above the game's jungle level to those where the brainwashing takes place. He dons the mask to rescue them and, after 16 years, Metropia knows the Phantom is back. Maxwell Jr.'s latest project is a "fractal biot" he names HEISENBERG (Rob Paulsen) (because nothing is certain). Composed of thousands of fractal cells, it can shapeshift into multiple forms. Rebecca uses Heisenberg to sully the Phantom's image, and Doctor Jack is happy to record its heists. Kit stops it (bemusing Officer Cruz) and then intercepts a smuggled shipment of space-built nanochips that would free the biot of its reliance on a bulky external brainbox. He downs Maxwell's fleeing aircar, then rescues him from the wreck; he promptly blabs Rebecca's plan, and Heisenberg is presumed destroyed. Trying to penetrate Maximum's corporate network, Kit is warned off by "Alice," a grandmotherly figure who's really an orphaned teen living in ruins on Metropia's edge, who planned to piggyback on the Phantom's more powerful computers. Mister Cairo appears to warn of a second backtrack. Graft tracks the intrusion to Tranh and arrives in force, thinking he's finally cornered the Phantom... and Mr.Cairo offers to investigate his identity. Their earlier conversations interrupted, Cruz goes on a date with Kit to a concert by new sensation VAINGLORIA (Debbie Harry), whose fan of Maximum-supplied mirrored implants are designed to induce a malleable hypnotic state in her audience. To eliminate troublesome council members from the equation, Rebecca uses her to recruit their children. This is all a diversion for the Phantom, though; simple bribery serves to gain her long-awaited approval. Cyberville's first walls are erected, and Kit swears an oath officially acknowledging his new role. /** ***************************************************************** * Errata * *************************************************************** */ The published "Roughnecks" schedule still can't be trusted. In place of "Hot Ice" (53/123) and "The Ice Men Goeth" (55/125) on Thursday and Friday of last week, we got "...And Then There Were Two" (42/117) and "Hot Ice". I've finally found a reliable source for FoxKids schedules; the foxkids.com website. (My local paper's edition of "TV Showcase" and tv.excite.com are always miss schedule changes by at least a week.) The listings run Monday to Sunday, but the week shift seems to happen sometime Friday. I.e. you can't look up the next morning's titles on Friday afternoon. FoxKids has moved "Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century" to Mondays 16:00, but they don't seem to be running them in order; 6-dec's "Deranged Detective" (105) is being followed this 13-dec by "Empty House" (104). Also, "Godzilla" has returned to replace "Xyber 9" in the Saturday schedule, effective this past 11-dec. In any prior "Xyber 9" coverage, I've spelled the name of the chief baddie as "Maquestro." According to foxkids.com, it's "Machestro;" s/qu/ch/. The title of 14-dec's "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" was "Hush" not "Hash." /** ***************************************************************** * Legalese * Acknowledgments * Opt-in/out Instructions * *************************************************************** */ All books, movies, television shows, toys and other creative works reviewed or analyzed herein are the property of their respective copyright holders. No infringement is expressed, implied or intended. The original reviews and analyses are themselves copyright 1999 by Phillip Thorne. Some data has been reprocessed via aint-it-cool- news.com, foxkids.com, tv.excite.com, upcomingmovies.com and other sites. (Acknowledgement something here) You're receiving this newsletter because you're a friend, former classmate and/or former or current coworker of Phillip Thorne, or have specifically subscribed to it. To receive the eleventh and subsequent issues, send an email message to pethorne@earthlink.net with the words "SUBSCRIBE NON-SEQUITUR" or 'subscribe nonsequitur' in the subject line and/or body. To stop subscribing, s/subscribe/unsubscribe/ig. Capitalization and punctuation don't matter. /** ***************************************************************** * ****************************************************************** * The Non-Sequitur Express * http://home.earthlink.net/~pethorne/Reviewer/NonSeqExp/ * Volume 1, Issue 10: Wednesday 15 December 1999 * Copyright 1999 Phillip Thorne, pethorne@earthlink.net * ****************************************************************** * *************************************************************** */